christmas time

my phone is repeatedly freezing too cold to work. It first happened on a day a few weeks ago when i got snowed on to the max, now i have to sit on it or leave it on the radiator for ages, it's getting pretty annoying...
to be fair, a contingent of the buttons are stuck on with blu tac.  i moved my contract to the shittest one there is basically, then about 2 days later my phone broke and i had lost all my perks from being a customer for about ten years and was on the shitheap with all the other £10 per month shitmunchers so now i have to BUY  a phone which i have never needed to cause of upgrades so that's never going to happen, i'll never afford one as nice as the one i have (had it 4 years nearly) so that's the beef.


So here's the big question, anyone get an email THIS cheery into their work inbox today:

Wishing you a merry xmas and best wishes for 2011.

Grief Kit and Terminal Illness products

Just to let you know that we currently have an offer on our grief kit. For more information, please contact me.

nope, didn't think so! certainly warmed my cockles this morning, wishing you a merry christmas and a great year despite/full of terminal illness and mostly grief :)

what does a grief kit consist of you wonder? tissues? bit obvious. phil collins album? brandy?i imagine it in  a box like a first aid box... emergency grief kit valium and 'fuck off and leave me alone i'm grieving' t-shirt within.

my 2 month battle with the council to get paid has finally finished. from nowhere after all the crazy stories i was suddenly paid. not sure what to do with myself now...i mean, i am owed other money but that chase hasn't taken off yet... maybe in the New Year...who knows...

Been assessing the train sitch, doesn't look great for my dash back to Cambridge on Xmas eve... everything has gone serious tits up today and i do have 'planes trains and automobiles' fears inside me of hitchhiking and sleeping in a train and spending Christmas day having ribena and flapjack from trolley for dinner and we'd all cheer each other along and remember it laughingly in a few years but staring the idea in the face i can't think of anything more depressing.

Where the page was uploading disruptions and trying to say 'amending  updates' or something it crashed on my computer and just said "Amen" which was pretty fitting really.

not much else to report. very excited about xmas as always. the bunnies are staying with mum and dad and have moved into my BED which is very cheeky of them and not sure whether they are going to like me and chloe descending on it! Flat is seriously weird without them! I miss them!!! i miss their indifferent looks! dad is so bunny-centric now i don't know what he's up to, will probably be making bunny christmas dinner (FOR them, not with).

saw Frankie Boyle's poster for his new live dvd, 'if i could reach through the tv and strangle you i would' that is really what it's called!!!! it's like something off The Day Today!! It's so Nathan Barley it's almost unreal, real comedy has become a total parody of itself! 

What an arsehole he is! he'll be so embarrassed one day when he wakes up from this dazed fame trip he is on, seriously, he's showing up how thick his audiences are by trying to be all offensive and over their head and shocking, but then doing it so far it goes back on him and just makes him look like a desperate wanker! his offensive gag's are not even worth being offended about, it'd be great if everyone just didn't care, or mention it it'd be the only thing that would truly upset him, there's a mitchell and webb sketch which is like watercolour challenge that totally reminds me of this WATCH IT .

anyway, def not worth the comedy debate that's going on, is it offensive;yes of course, that is its intention. is it funny; no because it is to no purpose, there is no context or build up or intelligent thought there.

anyway crew faces. my hands are freezing on the keyboard, try and catch you pre-xmas otherwise have a real sweet one. remember, eat the choc orange before breakfast, it sets you up for the day's fighting and makes sure no one gets their's confused with yours.

call me elf

ey up freakazoids, my mouth is watering loads at the anticipation of heading off the to German market after work for potato cakes! they are real delish...
lally staying this week, starting to feel christmassy, got the little tree branches wedged into a pot up, got the advent candle on the go, yup, preeety christmassy all round...
still endlessly frustrated as i chase people for money they owe me, really holding everything up and adding to the stress of december. This is what I hate about email, it's so easy for people to fob you off loads and disappear, they can ignnore you for ages and never face your furious screaming face, sure i would have been paid months ago if the girl dealing with me had had to see my fury head on...

my serious curse with keys continues as the key to my studio has broken in the lock... starting to wonder if i have a uri geller style melting metal fingers syndrome? probably...

heading back to cambridge on friday for an appointment in addenbrookes oral surgery dept as my 3rd wisdom is forcing a contingent of my teeth from my mouth which is very annoying and I bloody wish they had taken them all out in the first place... i hate the tooth app. the most as you have to put this HUGE plastic plate vertically into your mouth for the xray for ages and ages all over your gob and it really really kills, they always go 'oh you have a tiny mouth' so why don't they have different sized ones? i am not the tiny-mouthed girl of east anglia, there must be more like me? children for example? something pointing into the soft flesh in yuor mouth (got that sounds disgusting, shut up Joe!) is one of the most painful things, when you get an injection in the roof of your mouth it hurts loads longer than the tooth that's been pulled...well, the flesh it's been pulled from, the tooth doesn't hurt obviously...

anyway, going to a party on sat in the flying pig, the whole pub hired which'll be an experience! the theme is 'when i was little i wanted to be...' i wanted to be an illustrator, but a successful one obviously, so really i should go as myself only happier, better dressed and richer, but that is too depressing so i am going as one of the myriad of people who i wanted to be when i was little, although i decided against Nigel Kennedy much to my sadness, as that would have been pretty great...

Chloe's bunny Dotty had an operation last week so much of the weekend gone was spent worry about her and having a lovely lazy cambrdge weekend with my new ROSEANNE box set!!! :) which is BETTER than i remember and i was well scared it'd have aged awfully!

also mum's b'day on sat so there'll be much merrymaking i am sure. Leeds and wakey are meant to have heavy snow this weekend, hope i can get back to the bridge ok on xmas eve... not sure how busy the library will  be (i AM sure, it will be empty.that was sarcasm).

okey dokey that's that, sad not to be doing much christmassy stuff out and about, really want to see my old friends so i hope that can happen at some point.
Off to Wales first week jan to Portmeirion like a French Duke :) very very happy about that, i always prefer to go away after new year as that's when the slump hits and you start staring into space and dribbling and going 'wwwhhhhhhhhyyyyy?' or is that just me? don't lie, you do it too.

hello fans

ow do?

can't believe i haven't bothered writing the blog, there's been so much to write and i am always thinking of new stuff...especially since....................the SNOW!! da  da daaaaaaaa!

since the snow started last monday i have:been thrown out of a taxi and shouted at for being a timewaster :)
had a fight with a bus driver cause i banged the door so he'd let me on-he was a coccckk
experimented with 3 pairs of boots for grip (not at the same time)
eaten 2 life-giving stews including the best meal i have ever made.
been stranded 5 miles from Leeds and had to walk back
made a lot of jokes (kind-of) on this walk about dying in the snow-to people i didn't really know
worn 2 pairs of trousers and still been cold (that's a new one one me)
cleaned the ice out of the INSIDE of simon's car (also new)
seen an igloo (someone built a really good one near my house)
had potato cakes at the German market-nicest things i've ever eaten
stopped caring what i look like as long as i am warm :)
become Northern-ist and tasty at the bias of the news coverage of the snow
looked after the bunnies more than EVER as if that were possible!
done xmas origami wrong, i can't do origami
created a christmas tree from offcuts as a proper one was too expensive (it's brilliant too!!)
spent about 20 hours either on transport or waiting for it.
been having very cosy evenings
become a hermit crab
missed 1 day of work after a 4 1/2 hr trip home last weds
discovered the amazingness of 'Farmfoods' frozen shop!!
not been to the supermarket ONCE
been laughing about the fact that the private school kids stopped school when it snowed, even though their parents block the road every day with off-road 4x4's-!! pointlessness confirmed.
totally lost the magic feeling associated with snow and become fricking fed up with the fucking stuff.

only thing worse-now it's 2 inch ice.

So, I watched that brilliant panda doc last night, anyone else? how can an animal BE that cute?they said that cuteness is directly related to have a small willy, and also makes it harder for you to survive!
the sexy bits were a bit horrid, seems degrading to this amazing animal that it's being filmed unconscious having its sperm removed...:( it didn't mind though really i don't think... what they are doing there is really amazing...they have to do it like that cause they want to stop inbreeding...maaybe they should have done that with the royal family, darted them and rolled them over on film and extracted semen, i'm going to be sick why did i try and do some obvious satire there...!i am a twat!

well, i am meant to be heading home at 2pm on xmas eve, although today's weather says it's going to be impossible to travel, we'll see... may have to go to burton with simon!

frantically looking for jobs and feeling the need to actually get a career or something, being nearly 30.
anyone sees anything let me know!!