spring is springed

hellaaaw hellaww

well haven't i been a busy bloody bee lately?

as you know, chloe came to stay for the grand unveiling of country house cooking contest which was thoroughly enjoyed by all, despite my incredible fury at the injustice of it all, and the fact that JBR was pissed so was not fit to judge anything.

ricky came up too and we ventured off to Bradford to the Film and Media museum which is really brilliant, i can't believe i haven't been before, have i already talked about this? i can't remember! anyway, the ground floor is just free computer games and arcade games from all decades including the wonderful Goldeneye, which brought back MANY a memory and was thoroughly enjoyable to watch chloe try to get a hang of the controls after all this time while her gun waggled about in the air shooting straight into the clear blue sky while a baddie shot her in the gut, then the old familiar desperation of try to slap them to death, remember 'slappers only' on Goldeneye? great times.

anyway, loads and loads to do there, lots of sets from animation which was amazing, including a wallace and gromit and a wombles set, we (perhaps ill advised) attended a talk about the Fairy photos from the 20's (we were the only ones there, i may also add that i forced the others to come) two old men wandered over and joined in, when i say joined in, they blurted out irrelevant information every few seconds 'oh, we're from london' 'i saw a programme about this on telly' 'weird to think my auntie was alive when this happened' and so on and so on, i made exaggerated 'hmmm, oh wow' noises every time they spoke in order to make chloe laugh, but she stood quire resolute.

The photos were ridiculous, you know, the ones of the little girls with fairies, even in those days it was a real struggle to conceive that ANYONE had believed them for a second, all i can think is that there was a mass-nervous breakdown going on cause of the First World War? they look like flat white bits of paper and are awkwardly drawn at that, not to mention that the girls are staring into the middle distance, clearly not interacting with the little faries, there's even an elf with a belly button and curly shoes, it's rank, Arthur Conan-Doyle said it proved that fairies reproduced like humans which is a foul idea to say the least.

anyway, because they were quite posh no one ever had the nuts to say 'you little bloody liars!' and they only confessed to it in the 1980's!!! honestly.

spent friday in the studio getting on with ricky's album covers ahead of him album launch in april. Came home and cooked an insanely massive curry for the first time all alone without the guidance of someone who knows what they're doing, turned out pretty good. PLayed streetfighter on the wii, one of our classic games.

saturday was an insane day of activities,we went to saltaire to the mill which in all honesty is pretty lame, the only thing that redeems it is that it's an amazing building, however the hockney's are hard to look at cause of all the people bundling about and shopping and eating. went to a mental little cafe in a basement and had toasties and tea and teacake and fundge cake and all the other good tearoom things, then we headed to the main event: LASERQUEST! yes! at Castleford Xscape. i haven't played laser quest since i was about 10 so i was almost nervous! however it was insanely fun, there was a team of evil blue (there were 3 teams, blue red yellow) children who were about 2 foot so naturally i concentrated on taking them DOWN however they were easily the scariest and when me nd chloe stormed their base they shoved us out! little bastards, i easily got most satisfaction from shooting them. I did the best out of us all by a long way, coming 10th out of 37! clearly my reckless drive to eliminate the bases paid off, combined with my ruthless gun skills of course.

went to the chippy restaurant which is honestly like something from the 60's and was informed that they cooked everything in beef bloody fat so i had to have some insane vegetarian dinner! never mind that fact i've been eating their chips for ages! finally ended the day at the pub playing staring contests and laughing uproariously at the mental faces we were inventing.

the good news? i had an interview today for a library job, and i actually GOT it, despite my resolution to the fact that i definitely wouldn't. to say that i was overjoyed would be the understatement of the century. maybe things will turn around for me in 2010? better not speak too soon but anyway, for once i am optimistic and have the prospect of some money and some self-esteem.

so here i have added some pics i just took in the churchyard next to my flat, i love crocuses so much and no picture will ever show how totally vibrant they are. they are also really fragile and disappear so suddenly once their job is done, i always imagine people in the old days who relied on warm weather so much more than we do, seeing them and feeling suddenly like things were going to be okay after all.

good day

Good day, My name is Mr William Wilcox , I work with the Euro Lottery. I am soliciting your assistance for a swift transfer of 4,528,000 GBP, should you be willing to assist me in this project? you will be giving me just 40% of your winnings.Just as a brief,you just have to register online,due to my position in the company I can make it happen that you would be a winner of the above stated amount.Naturally, every body would like to play a lottery if they are assured of winning.I am assuring you today to be a winner, please do not take for granted this once in a life time opportunity as we both stand to collectively gain from this at the success of the transaction.Should you be willing to assist me in this transaction please do respond to e-mail:WilliamWilcox101@admin.in.th Regards,William Wilcox

the title of this email was: 'good day'

hahaha! proof that the sender is well-bred and genuine!!


well i can't really write a blog because i am being hassled from all sides to get on with the writing that i must submit prior to my interview (i know, interview!). i really can't talk about it cause i am too scared and i don't want to jinx it...

sorry about that, promise i shall write tomorrow! x x x x x x x

not much to report!

how are you my plummy plum heads?
lots more relaxing today as the days must revolve around Country house cooking contest (CHCC).
today was a travesty. there was no actual reason for removing chloe, peter the prick made quite honestly one of the most horrific things i have ever seen, utterly disgusting, cold, oozing oil filling your mouth, RANK. chloe made her own bread for fuck's sake! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


aaanyway. now i am watching wedding sos, but we have also enjoyed UNdercover Princesses, it's on on sun night, i really recommend it. 3 princesses are trying to find a man in england (uh oh, good luck) and for this task they have been put down in a village in essex! two of them don't drink which is basically going to prevent any man from seeming at ALL appealing to them in England! One of them hates the sight of men drinking! they have been out 3 times and each time to a pub! uh oh! One of them is a very sweet blonde german girl but she fancies everyone! and has already gone straight for a ludicrous english man who looks totally baffled and clueless about why she desperately fancies him immediately! definitely watch it!

anyway. rowey has gone to get pizza and me and chlo have magazines, sweeet and there's Masterchef to look forward to, greg's little side mouth and john who can't talk but can only shout.

hmmm sorry the blog is so boring at the mo. off for a day of excitement in bradford tomorrow so hopefully it'll be more riveting. OH i did cook possibly the single greatest victoria sponge in the history of the world so we've been enjoying that as well...

fings

hey hey how's tricks crew.

well i have mostly been enjoying lots of telly. spent a lovely day in t'studio yesterday, think the book is shaping up pretty well (i hope) can't wait to get going on it. my drawing time is currently taken up with trying to complete an application to a drawing postgrad school. i am very very nervous about it!!! but will get it done and hand it in before the 8th april deadline i will i will i will.

can anyone give me any ideas of stuff to draw that will persuade them that i am a genius?

chloe arrived last night, we watched the second episode of country house cooking contest today in which chloe was criticised for her dangerous underseasoning of a bubble and squeak cake...argh!

it's SO nerve-wracking to watch! i'm getting all the inside goss about what was really happening though and what a total nut bag that John Burton Race is and how totally pissed as well...

i just sold my bike on ebay which i am in slight denial about due to end of an era sadness :( what a very very beautiful bike it is... :(

if the interview goes okay next week then i will treat myself to a folding bike which i always said i wouldn't get but now i have firmly in my sights! i can carry it to the bridge on the train you see and use it then, plus i can keep it in my studio and in the flat, i am pretty sure anything else will get nicked in wakey?

watched about half an hour each of katie price AND kerry katona last night, blimey i am a bit of a nob. from what i can see katie price's son harvey is very sweet and when asked by santa what he wanted for christmas said 'birthday cake' which was a brill answer. kerry was seeming pretty mad until her mum appeared and then suddenly my heart went all out to her as her mum is a relentless bully it appears... what a weird world we live in. There should be a relaxing version of reality tv where they follow me about, walking to town, buying effervescent vitamin c, eating malties cereal, listening to audio cds, people could put it on to fall asleep in the afternoon...

chloe is making lots of plans for the week and i am nodding :)

sorry about the lack of excitement at my end, me and chlo are about to order mum a MoonPig card which is pretty damn exciting in my world!

tratratradeda

hello friends, tis me your other friend.

i dreamed of biggsy and james last night, that we were all getting pissed up in the park on cider and wine, i kept thinking 'wow, we've been up all night, why aren't i tired?' then i got all distracted cause there was a monkey in the park, then i moved into a flat and al pacino decided to go out with me so i told simon to run away so al pacino didn't kill him so simon went 'yeah that's fine i wanted another girlfriend anyway' and he even added that he wouldn't even give me his address. blimey!

well, today is the day that i get back on track. nipped to london on thursday night having failed to get the job that i interviewed for and spent all day in the library at Leeds uni reading piles of books about crazy victorians.

on friday me and ricky (chloe's boyfriend) went to the Foundling Museum in central London. It's a house which was established in the 18th century as a home for foundling children. It was so popular that ladies would arrive with their babies and take part in a lottery to find out if the hospital would take their child. The most heartbreaking things were the tokens that the mothers left with their children, with the hope that they could return and collect them when they had some money, some of them left things like nut shells and bits of wire twisted into hearts, so so sad. It's a very surreal place to visit cause it is still just like a house, we arrived on the top floor and walked into a room which was lit by lamplight and had 3 people in it each sitting in armchairs reading and listening to Handel, one of whom was a vicar! We thought we'd wandered into a house! It was so bloody civilised!

anyway, all in all i recommend it as a nice afternoon out and an unusual insight into london, 90% of kids in london at that time who went into the workhouse died under the age of 5! unthinkable really. anyway there'll be more of that stuff in my book that i am making....

me and rick headed into Shepherd's Bush and met Chloe then queued for Mitchell and Webb at BBC television centre, i'd gotten audience tickets. the queue was HUGE, they give out about 4x too many tickets, it was f ing FREEZING too, lal made it from work at the last second and we all got in. The recording was about 2 1/2 hours long and a bit exhausting but lots of laughing.

headed back to FP for a late dinner and all felt revitalised for it, watched lots of Fast Show, forgot how bloody amazing it was.

saturday i headed for Victoria coach station and my 5 hour £5 coach journey. The driver was a bit of a dick as is always the case, however the coach was less than half full so i got a double seat to myself and was able to read and fall asleep. Was awoken when we stopped at milton keynes by the feeling of someone moving my bag and putting it on top of me, i woke up and someone had sat next to me, a lady with a really stale smelling leather jacket who was taking up half my seat, claustrophobia started creeping over me, looked around the coach and it was still nearly bloody EMPTY!! whyyy?? why did she need to move my bag and sit next to me? By now that floor heater thing had come on and was ROARING so I was absolutely boiling and squashed and the stale fag smell of her coat was circulating up my nose. unbelievable. i then lied and got off at wakey instead of leeds, little realising that my bag was in the leeds compartment so that caused loads of trouble then i walked across the coach park getting sworn at and beeped by all the drivers, bloody hell.

went out to Hansa's, an amazing vegetarian gudjarati restaurant in leeds with richard and michael, a lovely couple that we know, simon used to work with michael. Richard has stopped drinking so we even got driven from and to our door!luxury. fell into bed knackered and contented.

spent yesterday watching crap on i player and having a porridge and egg-fest. slept for hours and hours in the daytime.

SO heard on friday that i have an interview for an actual proper job which i am going to prepare for and really really try for.

now i am off to the studio to get going on my book, can't wait to get down there. I am sad because i have sold my lovely bike in cambridge, however it is totally impractical for wakey. gonna try and use the money for it to buy a folding-bike so i can take it on the train.

anyway, sorry if this has all been a bit boring!oops!

laters crazy potaters, OH YEAH

4PM TODAY AND TILL FRIDAY ITV CHLOE IS ON TELLY, COUNTRY HOUSE COOKING CONTEST!! WATCH IT!!

scriibiidop

hello hello

i am off to laaandaan in a minute as i got free tix to see mitchell and webb record their radio show, returning on the coach on saturday, a flying visit indeed, gonna run all over london tomorrow seeing museums am very excited all in all.

missing my cambridge home very badly, have no structure at the moment and only feel contented when i am on the sofa watching sharpe with mum and dad or lying in mum's bed with her watching dvds aaaahh, heaven.

had an interview this morning then went off to leeds uni with my readers card to do some research for my book on victorians, stayed there from 11 until 430 literally without even noticing! came out and immediately was informed that i hadn't got the job. walked to the station and bought a litre of chocolate milk in m&s and drank it all (good idea? not sure yet).

applied for another job which seems like it'd be good but not holding out any hope.

it's very hard to concentrate on my illustration when i have NO money coming in. i feel that if i even just had 200 quid i could pay all my bills and have a 5er a week for bus fare and stuff, the problem with having nothing on the horizon is that you focus all your energy into finding some money to pay your bills, and wheh you can't even buy paper, you can't make a great artist.

the myth of the poor artist is ridiculous. no one is productive when they are poor, unless the thing that they do makes them money.

i was thinking about getting facebook again, shall i? no i reckon no, i fear it may be really useful in making contacts? and in keeping up with shit? is it? it isn't is it? oh bloody balls.

anyway just thought i'd put a quick entry in and stop being slack. i will return to wakey for good on sat and will not be going anywhere for quite some time! well, until the care home easter party anyway.

laters potaters.

feeling squashy

hello hello
i am back in cambridge AGAIN getting toward the end of the month-long jaunt all over the saaaaf.
things are getting ridiculous in terms of my bizarre lack of a structured lifestyle.
I spent the best part of a week with grandma and bernie which was great as always. Drove back to london with ma and dad and chlo who had come for the night, played a very long and increasingly bizarre game of 20 questions which culminated in me practiacally pissing myself . went ot Portland for the first time while down in Dorset, it's where my grandma was stationed in the war, you know, where the stone comes from? It's a pretty crazy place, an island linked by chesil beach to the mainland, it's a really really quirky and bizzare place, living there must be strange as f, we went down onto a wee stony beach with lots of huts on where everyone had made little gardens for their hutches and an old church sliding down into the ground. I demonstrated myself to dangerously unfit compared to my 85 year old grandma, the health kick is starting when i get back to wakey....
spent a couple of days at the care home, church was cancelled so we had an activities day instead which was pretty fun, there was an exhibition of wedding dresses up too which seemed to be more for the staff than the residents, me and chloe have promised to go back and organise an easter party for them having played the game 'what's your favourite food?' and discovered it's mainly cake and realising we could satisfy that wish pretty well by making cake for them.

spent a week in london which was pretty sweet, went to the science museum, london zoo, british museum, went on a space ship simulator which was pretty much the most exciting thing ever, the zoo was quite freezing so most of the animals were hiding in little straw beddies, but it was really nice to see them being all cosy! i loved the otters best i think which isn't that ambitious... and the big fat frogs, there was a japanese horned toad which looked like it was made from leaves, it was pretty amazing. London does probably bring out the worst in me though, I really don't do too well around loads and loads of rude bundling people and that's pretty much the major contender there...my fury levels were high, i even got in a scrap in the british museum gift shop, i ask you?!
SO returned to cambridge yesterday, it being sunday, this involved a train to hertford and a coach to royston then a bus to cambridge. was relieved to get back and snuggle on the sofa watching "The Sorrow and the Pity" a French Doc about the occupation made in 1968, if you get the chance-watch it. it is absolutely magnifique.
watched 'my big fat gypsy wedding' on 4od in bed, is pretty amazing! and informative about traveller culture too... one girl was getting married at 22 and she was considered WELL WELL old. it was pretty sad watching these 16year old girls get married, they get engaged generally at 14!!! I think about me at 14 and it is a terrifying thought how clueless they are. People live to 80+ nowadays, the idea of marrying at 16 is so ludicrous, you are still a complete child! even when i think about myself at 22, 23, 24 i was totally clueless about relationships, imagine at 14!ARGH! also, the girls were all much more attractive than the boys who were all terrifyingly thick, and mostly the couples had only met once or twice. blimey. Anyway, the main thing they all cared about was the dress so i think that says it all really. I am not saying our wedding culture is any better than theirs though, cause it isn't, at least they do it for religious purposes.

watched some more SHARPE with mum and dad, we're getting well toward waterloo now and the excitement is palpable!! what will we do when it ends?! i'll have to visit sean bean's plaque in sheffield! OW DO!
dad's birthday tomorrow so i am off to get him a card and stuff to make a cake.
i feel very fat, like a squashy mound of flesh. something must be done. now.
got a job interview on thurs for a weekend job ( i know). better than nowt though eh.
laters