unemployed cont.

Dear Friend, Good fortune has blessed you with a name that has planted you into thecenter of relevance in my life. I would respectfully request that you keepthe content of this mail confidential because of its nature and respectthe integrity of this information. First of all I'll like to introducemyself and status again,I am Thomas Williams, Staff of InternationalPrivate Banking at HSBC Bank London. I am contacting you concerning adeceased customer and a financial portfolio of $8.5m United state dollars,which he placed under HSBC Bank managements two years ago for turn over onhis behalf. As the Chief Operations Officer of the private banking sector, Iencouraged the deceased on his arrival to our bank on various growth offund with prime ratings.The favored route in my advice to him wasaccessing data's on 6000 traditional stocks and bond managements.Based onmy advise, attractive margins,acquired profit and interest stood at over$10m United state dollars,this margin was not the full potential of thefund but he desired low risk guaranteed returns on investment. Early 2004my client asked that the money be liquidated because of an urgentinvestment requiring cash payments here in United Kingdom, and that theliquidated fund be deposited in CORPORATE SECURITIES CO, a securityconsulting firm based in London who are specialist private firm thataccepts deposits from high net worth individuals and blue chipcorporations that handle valuable products and undertake transactions thatneed immediate access to cash. This order was given to me in anticipation of his arrival from Norwaylater that week, this was the last communication we had. Sometimes thisyear I got a call from CORPORATE SECURITIES CO. informing me of theinactivity of the portfolio, since I was the only one who knew about thedeposit, I immediately passed the task of locating my client to theInternal Investigation Department of HSBC, which now revealed that theperson who suited his description was declared dead of a Heart attack inCane, South of France. And in line with banking internal processes for account holders who havepassed away, an investigation was meant to be launched to contact apossible surviving NEXT OF KIN to come forward as beneficiary of the fundbut unfortunately when my client came patronizing our services, in hisbio-data form, no next of kin was listed neither was there a TESTATE. Myclient only used numbers and codes to make the account he opened with usanonymous. At this juncture, I'll like to unravel the true position ofthis transaction, CORPORATE SECURITIES CO,has requested for statements ofclaim from me, and I alone knows of the existence of the deposit, for asfar as HSBC Bank is concerned the transaction with our late clientconcluded when I sent the fund to the security firm, all outstandinginteractions in relation to the file are just customer service and dueprocess. The security firm has no single idea of what the history ornature of the deposit is, they await instructions to release the depositto any party that I nominate as the beneficiary of the fund. I amprepared to place you in a position to instruct Corporate Securities Co.to release the deposit to you as the NEXT OF KIN. Kindly let me know your true interest in this pending transaction so as toascertain the proceeds, and I assure you that I could have the depositreleased to you within few days. I implore you to discard this mail if youfind no interest in this transaction, and if my offer is of no appeal toyou, please don't be vindictive and destructive just delete this messageand forget I ever contacted you. Finally, I am sending you this mail without a measure of fear as to whatthe consequences are, but I know within me that nothing ventured isnothing gained and that success and riches never comes in a platter ofgold. This is the one truth I have learnt from my private banking clients.Do not betray my confidence, if we can be of one accord, we should plan ameeting soon. I await your response. Thomas



if we can be of one accord eh? why don't they use smaller amounts then people may reply? who would even want 850 billion pounds? everyone would notice and you'd get arrested...



so here i am about to begin my 6th day of unemployment, what have i been doing?



went back to cambridge last week for a staff party and dentist appt. she poked a metal stick into a hole in my gob and it still hurts :( sat in botanical gardens with chlo, was heavenly there... staff party was predictably shite, got given a little roulette chip which entitled us to drinks at the bar, i managed to razz 3 cocktails, accompanied by san pellegrino before the bar tab ran out, it was an excellent demonstration of why i am glad that i left that job, everyone was being more of a cock than EVER, even the people that i have usually got on with. Bar Marie and Dave from the canteen I can honestly say that I am delighted to never see any of them ever again! how sad is that.
had a lovely day with ma and chlo, watched a secret chick flick at the cinema which was gut achingly awful but fun!! came home and watched more films. miss them both lots now.
came back up to wakey on thurs and headed off to newcastle to see Liv on Friday morning, having packed a selection of light cotton clothes, it rained and rained and rained! we went to a sweet diner and had milkshakes to make everything better, then embarked upon Primark... spent the evening at a graphic design evening being held by the Shipley Gallery, they had a brilliant exhibition of Olympic Games posters from throughout history, some illustrators doing talks and a kind of weird bingo in which we won a free drink, we made some prints from polystyrene...went back into the TOON and had some bloody sweet cocktails then headed off to a club which played amazing soul and funk and danced like bloody maniacs hindered only by annoying students giving liv the rude eye and have to take to consequences...!

Enjoyed some hours reading every cheap magzine that money could buy, real stories, top tips, all the beauties, then we rented Top Gun on the grounds that neither of us had ever seen it, pretty quickly discovered why that was, it was a steaming pile of trud! the only fun aspect was the masses of sexual tension between all of the men, other than that there were loads and loads of long discussions about the intricate elements of fighter planes which surely hardly eny one could enjoy? so you just drift off and look around the room thinking about the washing up.
sunday we watched an entire week of come dine with me on 4OD, from Preston, the most amazing one I have ever seen, I recommend you watch it! The characters were all like something from a soap opera, they were literally unbelievable, one of them went to bed before she'd even cooked her meal!

Now I am in bed watching Jeremy Kyle with a headache. Today I intend to go into leeds and reap the benefits of the market. I also need to buy a printer and a swimming costume. Money is in an increasingly serious situation...the bank may well be round any moment and send me to prison... uh oh...

two feuding brothers on jeremy kyle... now 'my ex's mum is stopping us getting back together'
oh, now he's admitted that he sent threatening texts to the mum of his ex, so it's actually all really fine that the mum hates him.he wants to get back with his ex but she won't talk to him (?) i fear he may be deluded...oh, he's blatantly got anger issues.
listen to me... this isn't good! BLUR on Friday at Hyde Park! some sweet fun on the horizon...

hope you haven't all forgotten about my blog in my lapse of writing? i need connections more than ever!! i am iiissollaateeeedd!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, maybe i'll write to thomas and claim the money fun he's secretly saving for me? i could do with it.

nothing much

HEAD OFFICE:25 SOUTHAMPTON BUILDINGS LONDON UNITED KINGDOM TEL:(+44-)- 703 189 6897 / FAX : (+44)- 870 - 478 -4329 Messenger Yahoo! Lottery Results You won GBP820,000.00! Yahoo! Mail congratulates you! Yahoo! Mail announces you as one of the 5 lucky winners in the ongoing Yahoo Lottery Draw held in United Kingdomtheyear 2009. Messenger Yahoo! Lottery Results You won GBP820,000.00! All 5 winning email addresses were randomly selected from a batch of 50,000,000 international emails each from Canada ,Australia , United States , Asia, Europe, Middle East, Africa and Oceania as part of our international promotions program which is conducted annually, consequently, you have been approved for a total pay out of GBP820,000.00 (EIGHT HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND GREAT BRITISH POUNDS) This Lottery was promoted and sponsored by a conglomerate of some multinational companies as part of their social responsibility to the citizens in the communities where they have operational base. Further more your details(e-mail address)falls within our British representative office in United Kingdom , as indicated in your play coupon and your prize of Ј820,000.00 will be released to you through our corresponding assign payment bank HOW TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE These are your winning identification numbers. Batch number.......................Lwh 09445 Lotto number.......................Lwh09446 Winning number.................Lwh09447 CONTACT FIDUCIARY AGENT IN OUR BRANCH OFFICE SOUTH AFRICA Contact Person: Mr.Paul Peterson Email: claim.yahoolottery.gala.net Telephone +27-73-092-1144 You are to send the complete verification form below to the our Agent in theSouth Africawhose contactemail address is given above so that your file will be Submitted to our corresponding payment bank Provide your informations Below for the process your payment 1. Full. Names: 2. Full Address: 3. Occupation: 4. Age: 5. Sex: 6. Country 7. Telephone / Fax 8. Direct Mobile Phone For security reasons, we advice all winners to keep this information confidential from the public until your claim is processed and your prize released to you The Yahoo.com staff Yahoo.com http://www.yahoo.com Yahoo! Lottery is a free service that does not require you to be a Yahoo! registered user.

yess yes at leasyt the money's still rolling in i hear you all cry, if only that were the case reader, the money situation is nothing short of dire.

DIRE and worry is setting in big time...

nipped back to cambs for a work do which was unmitigated bollocks and caused me to leave feeling exceedingly comforted that I would never have to see any of those people again, and for a dentist appointment, having had 2 wisdom teeth out 2 years ago, the others are predictable surfacing now...

blog will be back to normal on Mon, computer is finally online and things here are okay. Still feel very weird though...

regular blogging resumes MOnday!!

unemployed

it's 5 39pm and i haven't spoken to anyone all day.

the devil will make work for idle hands to dooo

i am writing my first blog from my new life in wakey. i am in bed watching Jeremy Kyle and applying for jobs online. applying for jobs is unquestionably my worst worst thing in the world, i have put off writing a cv for about 5 years, i HATE filling in forms so soooo much, there are some people who love it?!

a man just failed the lie detector, he was a dj and gets a lot of temptations, he's about 5' 3" and rank. Oh i've had to turn kyle off, it's a wedding after the break and he was in the front row, no thanks... now though i'm on ch 1 and it's even worse, there's a mouthy blonde woman talking about a house in the voice of a children's tv presenter, it's more unbearable than jeremy kyle in fact, don't these people who try to add value to their houses, despite whether or not they like it themselves, understand that life is short? that you need to be happy in the moment? that their little scraps of extra money won't keep them warm when their dead? while they've wasted their lives tiptoe-ing around the bits of their house that they don't even like, just cause they need to keep the colours neutral? it makes me really, really depressed. you can't make people like that understand. There was a woman on come dine with me the other day who spends 3-4 HOURS a day cleaning...how depressing, she is throwing her life away, and when she isn't cleaning she must be anxious about things not getting messed up how can someone become that mad?

let's try channel 2...
hmmm it's computer-animated cartoons, i hate these cause they can't afford to do good computer graphics so the things in them are all a bit see-through and creepy, this is in a farm this one, the pig just floated across the floor like a ghost, it's american this one, but there's loads of really bad irish accents being done... gonna have to turn it off.
uh oh the bride just released some doves on the JK wedding. keep jezza away from the booze, that's my advice...
channel 4 some american programme. some gays, a gay vicar, he's being sent to Malaysia. His boyfriend is really eggy, saying he's being colonialist and can't he tell the bishop that he has a boyfriend?Enough of this already, oh,not before i heard this: 'you can't expect someone to organise his life around you when you can't even say "i love you"' from the vicar. woooo!

the adverts during daytime tv are so depressing, 'have you had an accident?' 'have you made a will?' 50+fashions, life insurance with Parky. that's enough, i need to go out.

wash up, shower, then costa! also i need argos, my clothes are in a shopping basket, a pile on the floor, and 5 suitcases.

laters! i'll keep you informed on my new life developments...you lucky people!

last day

in cambridge, at work.
i end it packing and feeling a bit sick, so pretty reflective of my general life here...
haven't really got anything to say about it, so many things from the last few years flash through my mind, it's definitely time to leave, there are certainly lots of bad memories amongst the good.

I shall leave it to Xu Zhimo, a Chinese Cambridge student who led the modern poetry movement in China before dying in a plance crash in 1932 :

Saying Good-bye to Cambridge Again

Very quietly I take my leave
As quietly as I came here;
Quietly I wave good-bye
To the rosy clouds in the western sky.

The golden willows by the riverside
Are young brides in the setting sun;
Their reflections on the shimmering waves
Always linger in the depth of my heart.

The floating heart growing in the sludge
Sways leisurely under the water;
In the gentle waves of Cambridge
I would be a water plant!

That pool under the shade of elm trees
Holds not water but the rainbow from the sky;
Shattered to pieces among the duckweeds
Is the sediment of a rainbow-like dream?

To seek a dream?
Just to pole a boat upstream
To where the green grass is more verdant;
Or to have the boat fully loaded with starlight
And sing aloud in the splendor of starlight.

But I cannot sing aloud
Quietness is my farewell music;
Even summer insects heap silence for me
Silent is Cambridge tonight!

Very quietly I take my leave
As quietly as I came here;
Gently I flick my sleeves
Not even a wisp of cloud will I bring away.

sadness.

I know I know, I'm crap, I haven't written, I've been so busy. We're packing up the entire library at work so by the time I get home I am far too tired to pack any of my stuff, I've taken down all the stuff from the walls so now my room is very depressing, but I have also hardly packed anything due to lack of receptacles so it's doubly depressing... : (
so far I have packed 2 bags of books and a bag of clothes that I don't wear.

Had a lovely evening on Saturday, was very touched by the fact that nearly everyone actually came, it's very rare that even 2 people have a free weekend so to have 20 was really great, even if it can be difficult to actually talk to everyone when there's that many there!

The moving sadness has well and truly set in, I feel very weepy at the thought of my room being empty, and of not seeing my mum and dad every day, we have settled into such an enjoyable (for the most part) life pattern, and most of all, we all really look after each other, so I feel very vulnerable and sad...
On the other hand, I am excited about living with Simon and about looking after him, and I am excited about trying to illustrate as well (but more scared).

Anyway, I have to get back. Those dictionaries won't pack themselves...

I'm sure my blog will take on a crazy new turn when I move, the chronicle of a self-employed 26year old in Yorkshire, let's hope it's more exciting than the chronicle of a 26 year old librarian being driven mental by teenagers... if it isn't then I shall jump into the canal. :)

nothing much

so someone found my wallet, where was it? in a bog. a ladies bog. so my suspicions about the middle aged lady were, it seems, correct. Middle aged ladies have to go to the bog during the course of each shopping trip, at least once. She obviously decided to rifle through her finds then! HA gutla stealing my wallet! what did you find in there? riches? credit cards? or loads of nando's reward stamp cards and old cinema tickets? no currency in them! believe me, i've tried!

Superdrug don't have any CCTV, so that's the end of that saga, the police called to say that they're tracking some guy who's nicked loads of wallets from cafes, but mine was in a ladies bog, and no one saw a man so i'm not sure if that's the case with mine.
I feel very vindicated that it was definitely stolen, I was seriously doubting myself last night, and having awful imaginings that they would look at the cctv and see me tucking my wallet absent mindedly into a shelf or something and be all 'aaahhh'...

anyway, time is drawing to a close here at work, one week left after tomorrow...I can't even be bothered to tell anyone off! Although, on the other side of that I am constantly tempted to swear at them too on the grounds that I don't care if I get into trouble? I think I'll swear at one particular boy, the pierced posho.
what have i learned in my time here?
Men rule the world and they are thick, and also immensley impractical which is meant to be the thing that they are best at, practicality.

Rich children aren't interested in anything, it's a horrible way to be.

Cultural differences in manners are vast!

Poeple who send their kids here are either a)THICK, b) hate their kids, or most usually c) both.

My school was much better than this school, and it was FREE.

I won't work with teenagers ever again.

I can probably survive any job now. I have learnt to repel the feeling of degraded-ness that this school has forced upon me day in day out.

I'd like to gather up a few members of staff and take them with me, save them, like from a sinking ship.

Marie, well, I have learnt more from her than I can fit on this! People really should hire her as a life coach! She's a genius and she has lived more than almost anyone I can imagine!!


c'est fini, I'm off now.
gotta finish sorting my clothes out for the Charity shop, as usual I shall continue to hoard things that will never fit me again most likely.