forts...

well, after the excitement of the big draw, yesterday i was a lazy bitch, i accidentally fell asleep reading Private Eye and woke up at 1:30pm, by then I decided I may as well hang about the house in my pants, have a sandwich, and watch Murder She Wrote, I had 2 bad nightmares which had caused me to awake feeling depressed, so I wasn't in the mood for any kind of self-improvement... headed for the studio after Jessica Fletcher had wrapped it up, encountered the phantom pisser in the alleyway on Wednesday, it was an old alcoholic man, as Simon had predicted, he said that addictive people had quite a routine homing instinct, which has proven to be completely true, this man urinated on the top step of the alleyway that you have to use to leave our flat, it's really really really disgusting, you have to creep over it every single day... anyway, I suddenly came face to face with him on wednesday, having a fag and a rest in the passage, I'm always totally terrified of encountering anyone in the alley, especially at night, it's unlit and totally terrifying, the other day there were 3 girls smoking a glass hookah pipe in there??!! sometimes there's a couple snogging in there, it's very hidden, that's it's attraction to booze hounds and teenagers, and not to me...
OH MY GOD THE LAND BEFORE TIME IS ON RIGHT NOW!!!!!
i really don't know if i can watch it!!! it's too too sad!! she just said 'some things you see with your eyes, others you see with your heart', so true, so true, god, their parents are all gonna bloody die! i can't watch!!The kids are a bit small compared to the parents, they're about as big as their parents' toenails, I can't see how they could grow that much?Peetree, the pteradactyl is the best, remember him?
Now the mum is telling the son, Littlefoot, that they must keep to their own kind...hmmm

talking of keep to your own kind, i watched that Race Experiment last night on ch. 4, even though I know that I shouldn't really, I was curious, the premise is that two groups of people are isolated from one another, those with blue and those with brown eyes, then the blue eyed people are brought in to the room, and they are treated as inferior, and bullied, and subjected to humiliation by the brown eyed people, to get a taste of what it feels like to be of an ethnic minority in Britain today.
(the mum dinosaur is fighting a t-rex and is wounded, also the earth is splitting up and lava is flying out)
anyway, (i'm turning it off now, they've all been separated by the great divide, and his mum is dying on a rock, it's unbearable!) the programme was rubbish really, i think it may have gone wrong or something, for starters, it did seem a bit unfair that it was decided that these blue-eyed people needed to be taught a lesson, it's quite presumptive, but then having thought that, I was proved completely wrong by the fact that they were very indignant about being there, and angry, but were almost all saying casually very racist stuff! I think the point that it made, that generally white people think racism in Britain is not that bad, is very true, and valid. Some people walked out, which I think was fair enough, cause the woman was totally abrasive. I also don't know how helpful it was to portray the brown eyes as 'victims' which they literally were called over and over again.

anyway, on that theme, there's a demonstration tomorrow against the English Democrat party who are having a march against so-called "Islamification" tomorrow in Leeds (that's gonna go down well) so the anti-fascists and the socialists etc will be there to shut their stupid faces...
I'm looking forward to another lazy weekend, we bought a pumpkin to carve and to make some lovely soup, and I bought me and Rowey each a crazy headset from the pound shop which we can wear all sat evening while we stare at our pumpkin, he has a knife-through-head set up and i have a bright green bat on a hairband, sweet eh?


ok well i'm off, gonna treat myself to the wakefield express and the guardian today-!! I know!! and head 0f to le studio, i also need to continue my quest to find a firework display.
bon weekend!

time for an adventure

helloooo helooow
wow, jeremy just dealt with a really difficult couple! he got there in the end though! oh no, they're talking about bereavement after the break, i'm watching CBBC now instead, it's a programme where kids have to do challenges and one of them is a secret saboteur, if they get spotted then they are locked into a computer graphic room, like Knightmare from the 80's, it was my biggest dream of my life to go on knightmare, it was totally impossible to understand what was going on, i only ever remember one person winning in the whole history of the programme, at the moment the kids are deciding if a horse can vomit, apparently they can't, now they're finding out that some turtles breathe through their bottoms, anyway, as far as i remember, when you won knightmare after what seemed like months of going on you just got a scroll, it was so disappointing...

i am really in the mood for an adventure today, spent so long in the studio yesterday, the big draw was a big success, all the paper was covered, lots of it by angry scribbling from me, and the music was pretty good too, despite myself i really enjoyed the bloody lute! might have to get some lute music on cd?
went to the pub for a pint after the draw which was nice, very unusual to have a drink on a weekday, got a taxi back to save myself the terror of the unlit alleyway walk home...
oooh what adventure shall i have??? the world is my oyster, and yet, i don't eat shellfish, or any fish...
i'm gonna pack a napsack like dick whittington and head off!

fings!

here are some pics from the Yorkshire sculpture park, the greatest place ever.
here's an Anthony Gormley on a dead tree stump, I love this sculpture



Here's some brand new graffiti from RIGHT next to my flat, it's the phantom political graf artist who has graced us with such slogans in the past as "I AM THICK CAUSE I DON'T RECYCLE"...

hello hello,

not much to report as i m off out to the studio, started a book yesterday which i am reasonably hopeful about so for once i am excited to get going!

wakey has been a bit depressing lately, half term doesn't help, bloody kids everywhere in great big swarms, yesterday i walked towards two men who were kicking a live pigeon down the street like a tin bloody can, the day before i saw a couple, about my age, laughing hysterically at an old woman who was standing still and not moving in the Ridings, i didn't ask her if she needed help which made me feel awful later, people failing to respect older people makes me so sad and so furious, i was so close to shouting at that couple, probably get stabbed or something.

today's the big draw, the studios are putting up paper and there'll be music, you just come along and draw, that's the idea, from 5-9, not sure how much of it i will endure... depends on the music i suppose, i know there is going to be a lute...

anyway, e bay is going pretty well, made £150 off the lego and coat that i sold so it's keeping the studio paid for, that's the main thing, total hand-to-mouth existence, have to try and earn enough to pay studio and phone and bank fees each month, it always seems like it can't happen at the start of the month, but seems to work out so far...? dec isn't looking so promising...

anyway, i guess i should be off, going to celebrate e bay by perhaps buying myself a bonafide coffee from a franchised outlet! i'm nervous just writing it!

bought a pumpkin too, so at least that'll get me in the spirit of things!

kylers mcwylers

hello hello, it's me-e, back with the same drivel, or as i was informed on my birthday drinks, by my friends, "complaining" which is apparently all i use this blog for! Honestly, what do you expect?!

well, i have to wait for JK today to get to the bottom of the accusations, the lie-detector results will be in...



i am currently watching Donny and Marie Osmond talking about their new las vegas show, they are literally terrifying...they confirm all my suspicions about mormons...the mormons behind my house in cambridge have been behaving even more suspiciously than ever lately...what with those biiiig gates that never open... they've been on a real recruitment drive lately around cambridge, they send out 2 lads of identical height, american, wearing suits, to knock on doors, i see them everywhere... you know if you're a mormon you aren't meant to drink tea or coffee? Someone i worked with at my old job was a mormon, he told me loads of stories about how if someone giving you trouble, the mormons will come over and 'sort them out' and then they won't give you any more and stuff...like the mafia...



cripes. there's someone on telly who sells avon, which incidentally is advertised everywhere, she earns £250,000 a year!!!! i am literally filling that application in NOW.



watched that programme about race and intelligence last night, eugenics is the most evil, sick concept ever created, the programme was quite depressing and didn't really say anything new. IQ is pointless and totally related to nurture not nature. yes.



JK is on...we're gonna find out if the brother nicked 40 grand and some guns....I predict yes...they are crims anyway i think....

hmmm i would probably have to start wearing make-up if i were to become an avon representitive...for 250grand, i'll do it!

oh, turns out he blaters did steal the money, they did the longest lie-detector test ever, 2 hours, and his lips are quivering...he did 7 tests...they all didn't work because he refused to say 'NO' and insisted on saying, 'No Lady'-!!

now to see if her boyfriend is cheating, they've been together 7 months! unbelievable! you barely know someone after that time! if i was that worried about my boyfriend cheating after 7 months i'd just dump them!

yeah he cheated loads with everyone, as predicted.

cripes, there are NO jobs, AT ALL. anyone got any ideas? i've looked everywhere, i look everyday and there is f all. seriously, any ideas welcomed pleaseeee?

anyhooo, i'm off to the studio, my new tactic is to put the heater on full blast, listen to the stereo and charge my phone, make sure i get my money's worth.

this pea head geordie is accusing his girlfriend of cheating while he was in prison, she was telling the truth for all of them, bloody women, they are so too good for stupid men, why don't they tell them to f off?

i'm off, have a good en!

not much to report...

i AM watching JK, but it's the first time in ages so give over!
a man is lie-detecting his brother because he thinks that he has stolen £40,000 and his selection of guns from a money-and-guns cabinet in his room. it's too late for it to end well i think...

had my porridge and nutella, realised i was spelling it porrige the other day, not sure what that was all about?I'm contemplating getting addicted to online Bingo? any thoughts?
had a good weekend, went to meet the socialists, it started raining pretty heavily though so i only ended up being there for 20 minutes! i only witnessed one person notice the stall and they said 'what a load of s**t'. that was the sum total of my bringing socialism to the masses on saturday...i then read the paper and had a coffee in Deli Central which is the only really lovely coffee place in wakey where they make lovely homemade YAAARKkshire fare like wee cakes and cheese from t'dales, so I like it there, even though I can't afford anything except the occassional black coff...
went to see the Grayson Perry exhibition at the Yorkshire Sculpture Park, did a long walk up to the gallery in the lovely sunshine, then by our return it was lashing with rain, it's actually really nice walking in the rain, i'd forgotten, only if you know you are going home though.
these lie detector people are gettign a load of laughs cause they have funny welsh accents, and cause the accused man is calling JK 'Mr Kyle', and bloody 'Sir' which he doesn't deserve! and makes him seem more suspicious...
I really need a haircut, I haven't had one since june 2008...that is something i can't bear to spend money on when i ain't got none...i look like a washerwoman. oh nooo, the results of the lie detector aren't until tomorrow :( dammit, i wanna know if ron stole the dosh... i'll let you know...

i went and saw the new library at CATS when i was back in cambridge, so typical, it's loads better than the one i worked in, and because it's away from the main building it's all quiet and people aren't constantly wandering in to check on you...I've got about 10 active library applications in at the moment, i NEVER hear back from any of them. I'm going to do an MA next year if things aren't looking up...i just want to do degrees forever and ever, there's about ten i want to do!! i might become an art teacher otherwise... GCSE level, not A level, i'm still scarred for life over it.
well, i've bored you enough already....sorry about that...hope it'll be a more interesting week ahead!

empty brains

phew! it's the weekend! Oh yeah, I don't have a job! Le Weekend is meaningless to me!

Biggsy I dreamed about you last night, that you and your family lived in a massive house and you were having a garden party and we were just scamping about, it was sweet.
I also dreamed that there was a creature in my room made of slime, called an Avacado Aardvark, I decided to catch it and put it in a cage cause I felt sorry for it, but when I looked it up online it turned out that it was going to gradually kill me. It was totally disgusting too.

Anyway...enough dreams...
Masterchef finished last night, so that's pretty much removed my evening structure...and YES I did watch Question Time, and NO I don't think he should really have been on the BBC, and YES the whole thing was so totally predictable that it was like having an hour of De Ja Vu. I do think that the British public have a kind of perverted fascination with the BNP, and with racism, not because they're racist, but just a kind of insatiable curiosity, everyone knows what Nick Griffin thinks and how made up all his stuff is, that indigenous British people are from after the ice age, cuckoo, he's a total loon, to be honest, the whole programme was a mixture of boring and embarrassing.

well, here's my confession, I AM watching JK, but it's the first time in AGES so come on! give a girl a breeeaaakk!!
you may be able to tell but i have nothing in my brains today...they're debating BNP on Question Time on The Wright Stuff, some posh woman is calling in to say 'i shall never watch it again!' One of the guests is saying 'I think you need to have the BNP on ALL the time, that's the way to show em' ?!

anyway this is so boring, i apologise! hope you all have a wunderbar weekend, i shall be cleaning the bathroom and making a cake, but not in that order, and not at the same time. -Unless it was a uinal cake! HAHAHAHAHA! peace out

greed indeed...

See, i've done what i ALWAYS do, i was so greedy for my porrige and it's been so long since i had some with nutella, and I was desperate for it all night last night, so what do i do this morning? i make so much that the bowl is brimming, and i eat it all until i'm having to repress a gag reflex for the last few mouthfuls, and now i'm pretty sure i never want to eat it again...
what a twatface.

i don't know if any of you have ever tried getting a night's sleep with a jab in each arm, but bloody hell, it is totally impossible. the flu jab is sore, but the pnumonia jab on my OTHER arm is frigging agony, my whole arm is dead, every time i rolled onto it i woke up and spun onto my other side and then had to spin into the middle, it was a real patchy night....ho hum, at least i'm immunised up to my eyeballs, and soon i'll be swiners resistant too, eat THAT diseases that attack the lungs!EAT MY ANTIBODIES!

well, the plan for the day is to take my graduate reader card, sneak along to leeds uni, and take full advantage of the very reasonably priced photocopying facilities, rather than return to the place i went in wakey that is not reasonably priced, and is actually quite scary!
ANYway, not really much to report... i've been really quite feckless since returning from my grand tour...it's hard to get used to real life when you've been living it up all over Poundbury, having dinner AND pudding every day...