blossom snow

wow, gordon brown calling someone a bigot, it kind of makes me like him more, at least he has passionate views...

went into town today to get some stuff for baking, as always you decide to bake something cause you can't afford a present and it ends up costing shit loads more to buy the ingredients.

wakey was looking really beautiful as i walked in. I sat in the churchyard nearby and blossom absolutely rained down on me smelling like total perfume.

I've watched the seasons change so carefully and in such detail these last months, i guess cause i'm not cycling, or working! everytime a new thing happens it happens so suddenly, the crocuses, the daffodils and now the blossom! and each time i think it's the one i love the most! The blossom is so perfumed and so varied, and so soft and fluffy to look at!

Unfortunately there was some sort of impromptu and i fear, completely invented by little teenagers, pagan ritual or something, a collection of bracelets and loads and loads of really heavy jade and marble chess pieces, lots of them smashed. I walked around and picked them up, spotting them in the grass, just in case they belonged to the church and someone had just been having and extremely impassioned, and violent, game of chess...

I accidentally walked off holding one, cause it was so heavy and cold and felt nice. This led me to believe that I must return it as it may be bad luck, so I returned it at the end of the day on my way home. God, I am so superstitious, it makes no sense. My counsellor once told me that superstition is a form of narcissism, like you always think everything is about stuff happening to you, and your actions are important enough to bend the fibre of the world and cause events, pretty good point actually...!!

went to the pound shop, there's 5 that i can think of, 2 have shut down since the recession, i favour poundland, but the new one that i went in today is giving it a run for its money! I bought a wicked melamine cup in there today! woo hoo!

There was a boy about 2 walking with his mum and a pram, saying over and over again 'i want a gun, i want guns' when we all shuffled round to the toy gun area together there was a man saying to his son, 'do you want that rifle? do ya?' and the son of course saying yes! then my little boy said 'gun, gun i want a gun' a bit more and the ma said 'nooo, you've got loads of guns at granddads' but caved in anyway. I also heard him say 'i want knives'. i think granddad is a bad influence...

off on another grand british tour this weekend, going to burton with simon, then on to cambridge,then london on sat night then down to dorset for bank holiday and grandma's 86th! literally can't WAIT we're going to Portland, the island off Weymouth, MAJOR Harries heartland and where my granny was posted during the war, operating the searchlights and stuff and cohorting with handsome soldiers...none could ever have been as handsome as my grandpa though, he truly was a beautiful man, and part of a set of good twin/ bad twin twins too! even better!! anyway, we shall be in the Lobster Pot celebrating the majesty that is my grandma, and I am very very happy and proud that she is.

not to mention dad says they have the best chips in the world... although he did try to climb Portland Rock (look it up, it's no mean feat!) last month and have to be rescued by Spanish tourists...oh dad...

so that's me. Baking Simon a Butterscotch Banana cake with the old bananas, ready to make broccoli soup and relax as my back hurts.

Can't drink booze or anything fizzy or consume any acid for indefinite period so that sucks, however having health back is so sweet I wouldn't care if i could only eat crackers ( I definitely would) see now i feel like that's asking for trouble saying that, jinxing it,

bloody narcissist i am...

back again

well look who it ain't, long time no see eh? I have a had a very strange and fast few weeks.

The top picture was a present from my dad, no greater love can a father show his daughter than buying her the extra strong long brewed marmite in a limited edition display box (not pictured-torn off by aforementioned father).

It was last monday morning that I noticed this marmite situation in my cupboard, ie. lots of marmite. it made me happy. James, you might want to get on a train down here, we could have our'sel's a marmite FEAST!

NB the filthiness of the cupboard is not to be commented upon :)

On monday night i was afflicted by some sort of Alien-style stomach pain and all that goes with it, to cut a long story short today is the first time i have ventured forth from my flat since last monday, bar an almost death-defying visit to the doctor's on thursday. Still not sure what it was, flu or a virus or a bug, but whatever it was it nearly defeated me and defeated my will to fight it many maaany times. Being confined to the bed and at the mercy of bizarre bodily functions is a very strange thing, it really felt like undergoing an epic journey. sometimes i was doing a bit better, then something comes out of nowhere and knocks you back. What do you mean I am being dramatic??! seriously, i did learn NOT to talk lightly about being ill, that really was a special kind of ill...

Saw the BNP party political broadcast today by mistake, it was even more outrageous than i ever would have dared to guess. The set up is a series of people (? I presume that they weren't actors, but real people as even out of work actors have some principles, bestiality porn is fine if you need a quick buck but fake BNP supporter is a step too far) builder (no way?!) ex-policeman in front of war memorial (you don't say? him? bnp? no way?) random girl, oaps and so on, reciting in the MOST unbelievably wooden way ever committed to film EVER, their own bits of script based,presumably on the bnp's teeny election manifesto, oh i forget to mention, there's also an upstanding sikh gentleman explaining that he supports the bnp because he likes to look after his own so why shouldn't they (not a valid reason!) and not mentioning the fact that he is only a member of the party due to a court ruling, it's like turning up to a party where you aren't invited and no one wants you but arguing so long on the doorstep with the host that they let you in, you still aren't welcome.

the whole debacle ends with dick, i beg your pardon nick, griffin at a desk in what looks like a museum (? borrowed maybe?) in front of a cabinet of medals (??) and a portrait of winston churchill while the music crescendos to such a deafening volume that you can't quite hear his snivelling little voice explaining that the bnp is simply the TRUTH and that's why no one in westminster likes him, cause they can't handle his TROOF, not because he is friends with the ku klux klan and potentially the single thickest person regarding the history of Britain who exists, including all the people in far-reaching tribes and slums who have never even heard of Britain.

Which brings us back to marmite. I was appalled to see a BNP ad using marmite last week while in the throes of a fever and put it down to a hallucination induced by having no fluid left in any of my brain cells. Marmite? marmite represents everything i believe in! good, honest, values, the breakfast of everyday heroes, the breakfast for EVERYONE, made from beer run off, using waste, giving you B vitamins, the most important vitamins (probably) my Mate, literally. The working persons BREW. what were they doing? colluding with these ignorant menfolk BASTARDS? these HATERS of all those who are good and hard working and trying their best and starting their days with marmite to make them happy?

turns out the bnp just used marmite in their adverts without any permission or anything, as if no one would say anything (unbelievable?!they're thicker than if little children set up a political party, how about marmite? they've got a good slogan? yeah, just use it then, no one will mind. ?!) anyway. thir getting massively sued now (No way? sued for using a product in a political campaign with no permission? it's political correctness gone mad).

seems the marmite slogan is the best that they could come up with, after all this time. and simply shoving a marmite jar, revolving in the corner of the screen was the most inventive and metaphorical way of using it that they could come up with. it's sad really.

failure rejection and gloom

hello it's me your loyal correspondent writing from west yorkshire, from wakey, currently voted the 2nd worst city to live in in england after bradford, well i can inform you matter-of-factly that that is all bollocks and both are exemplary places to live and fuck you anyone who says otherwise.

anyway.

i am preparing to head off down south for a week for easter to see my excellent grandma and that mad dog bernie, who has recently literally tripped my grandma up and caused her to end up in casualty, thanks bernie...

had a very strange couple of weeks preparing for 2 job opportunities, really good ones, very strange when you are so used to hearing absolutely nothing whatsoever, it adds a massive level of pressure that i have never felt before. i actually PREPARED for my interview in leeds, something that i have never ever done before. the interview went very well and i was offered the job a few hours later. I think that I have an affinity now with library work and seem to be very convincing as a person who can do the job.

now onto the other interview. basically i was shortlisted for a £12,000 bursary, there were 4 of us. the interview involved teaching a class in the morning, lunching with the trust and then a formal interview in the afternoon.

obviously i was stressing about this interview for 2 weeks, planning the lesson, changing my mind constantly, preparing myself for the idea that i was probably not going to get it.

when the day finally arrived, last thursday. i was pretty well prepared. simon kindly drove me to the primary school in question, far to far to walk, in the old colliery area of wakey. I arrived about 40 minutes early and the weather was doom-laden mist and rain.

headed into the school where no-one minded that i was early and i was led to a staff room for a very horrible cup of coffee. Gradually everyone from the trust arrived one by one, as did the other interviewee who was doing a lesson at the same time as me, an older man in his mid-30's from middlesborough who had prepared a much simpler lesson than me and actually seemed more nervous.

we were led into our respective classrooms, the idea being that the 6 people from the trust walked between the classes to watch us. i was given the older children which immediately made me nervous. in fact the only way that i could get through the initial stages was by going into a kind-of zombie function of detachment.

Thankfully the kids responded exactly as i had hoped they would except much much better and more enthusiastically. i set them about doing their drawings and then went around making sure everyone got the same level of attention, really enjoying seeing what they came up with.

it took a while to get them to finish up, they were really enjoying themselves and took their drawings to show their class, one girl told me she was taking it home to put it in her memory box. i was over-the-moon and had really really enjoyed it all.

headed outside as the next 2 candidates arrived to do their lesson. waited 40 mins for my bus up to the sculpture park, the weather had turned steamy and warm now. i set about rescuing a worm from the pavement and nearly missed my bus...

arrived in west bretton, the beautiful village where the insanely beautiful sculpture park is located. walked up the path (everyone was very shocked that i wasn't driving as it seems inaccessible to a driver) in the sunshine, there were lots of lambs, so teeny that they had their umbilical cords still attached, one ran over to me thinking i was it's mum and then noticed its mummy at the last minute who was pretty cross that i was going near her bub.

headed in and had a coffee, it's very hard to explain how beautiful it is there, and peaceful, and by now the weather was quite beautiful, the cafe overlooks the grounds and i watched the walkers and the dog-walkers head out into the grounds trying to calm myself down.

The significance of this bursary would be enormous to my career. it basically gives you the freedom to work and also a huge publicity boost and opportunity to create a publication. i was hoping that my connection to wakefield would help me, none of the other candidates were local so surely my connection to the locality and to the wakefield art-scene would make me a more desirable candidate, after all i have a vested interest in the community here?

met another of the candidates and sat in the lunch room waiting for the others. soon we were all four sitting together talking, a strange situation at an interview...they all seemed very nice, we were all very different entities i think so in a way i was feeling better about it knowing how much worse it is to lose a job to an unknown person who you create in your head into a perfect version of you. we had a very good lunch, an extra trustee arrived who hadn't been there in the morning and made himself known by being slightly scary. The only male candidate made me feel better about the whole thing by telling me about an interview that he did once which lasted a week and that he didn't even get. it sounded worse than this so i felt comforted. i was constantly sizing up the others though, what i had over them and what they had over me, pointlessly of course as it was impossible to know.

I was the last person to be interviewed, it was quite gruelling as i watched the others go in and come out one by one, 40 minutes each, until only i was left 2 hours later.

The interview wasn't good. i knew that when i came out and saw that i had only been in there 20-25 minutes. The guy who went before me had emerged positively elated after what felt like hours of me wandering round and round the lunch room as everything got cleared away.

i was led in to a very small room with a round table and 7 interviewers from the trust and the sculpture park. the interview didn't flow. they concentrated on an area that i hadn't considered to be massively important. I made a few good points about how i would keep the interest of older children, something i have some authority on from my jobs working with angry teens. everyone took it in turns to ask a question, some of which i really did not understand and had to clarify to the point where i felt like they thought i was a stupid child.

The interview culminated with the elderly chap who hadn't been there in the morning. He hadn't read any of my stuff and launched into me being from a 'cloistered life' saying that i had just left uni and how was i expected to cope with this. i corrected him and someone else did too, saying i had worked in schools for 4 years. this led to no alternative question and the interview fell flat.

all the stuff that i had wanted to get across was just left unsaid. i was nervous, but mostly i was confused and frustrated. the interview had no flow and i was given the distinct impression that a view had been formed about me before i opened my mouth, that i was young, inexperienced and unable to cope with the size of the task. None of which are true and none of which i had a chance to refute. I wasn't even asked about my work practice or connection to wakefield.

anyway. i left feeling utterly deflated and confused. half angry that i felt i hadn't been given a fair chance, half disappointed that i hadn't fought hard enough.

sounds like a war doesn't it?!!

anyway. my bus didn't arrive. i stood staring down the street for 2 hours. eventually simon came and rescued me by which time i was hiding in a stony hutch freezing cold!

the relief wasn't forthcoming of having this massive stress over with, instead i turned it all over and over in my mind in a typical rose-esque way.

i didn't hear anything on friday so i knew i hadn't got it, well i presumed i hadn't. saturday a 2 or 3 line letter arrived confirming it.

so that was that. the story of my interview, of the biggest interview of my entire life.

i am fine really, well i will be very soon. I think we must have been a bad fit and i would hate to spend 14 months working under a crew of people who treat me like a puppet.

anyway. i may have a bath? crazy eh?

off to london tomorrow on a £1 national express coach can't wait (not) see that was sarcasm. Bloody coach. just have to make sure i sit in the aisle this time and am not pressed into the heater by someone :(

au revoir, your disappointed but resolute compadre.

settle

hello readers, tis i miss harries, newly employed and a day before ANOTHER interview which lasts all day and about which i am somewhat terrified.

just thought i'd fill you in on a wee update before i head off to le studio.

went to Settle this weekend. met joey p in leeds, it's always surreal seeing cambridge people in the north, on my turf! went for a drink then headed off to get the train.

Settle is ridiculously quaint, really gorgeous setting in the middle of nowhere, huge rocky hills and little town square, really like a holiday village, which i suppose it mostly is.

spent most of the day drinking (a granted where joey is concerned) in the pub, went for dinner, had a slight disagreement with everyone about the welfare state, but let's face it, that's always going to happen, i am the only person who seems to be getting more militantly left wing as they get older, despite the trend amongst everyone else to go the other way, not to mention the fact that i was much too well oiled by this point to talk about anything even remotely resembling politics... :{ ) (that's a man with a moustache)

so having successfully made everyone hate me we headed off to the pub, returning home to drink about a litre of gin and tonic (it's so bloody more-ish!) and slept on a very comfy little chaise langue, woken only by joey p's somewhat strange night noises.

Did the usual thing of waking up at about 7:45 feeling absolutely FINE, probably due to still being pissed on reflection, waited for the others to wake up then watched with some amusement as joey p leapt into bed with james like a little monkey and hugged him with an extreme level of relaxed comfort, was quite heartening really!

we decided to go to the wensleydale cheese factory as it was raining so much that a walk was not really possible. UNffooorrtunately the nano second that the car engine began i was overcome with the desire to lie in a bed spewing into a bucket...uh oh!

eventually i had to confess my situation for two reasons 1) the roads were clearly going to resemble a rollercoaster for the FORTY minute drive and 2) i had to get out of the car urgently for fear of soiling it with g+t :(

thoroughly humiliated i was left at home to have a nap. slept for about 20 minutes then woke up feeling absolutely a million times better, presuming the others had gone off to do something ambitious i gave them a shout and they had merely made it to the social club. James picked me up and we sat in the club, theresa and joey p playing dominos and introducing me to an amazing lottery card machine that cost about 20p but created extreme excitement! also went trawling about the very high level chazza shops, help the aged being especially sweet!

Simon came up on sat to watch the rugby and take me home. me and theresa played dominos throughout the rugby which i have never done before so that was a skill learned, it's pretty relaxing, i can see why old people play it for hours...

headed home, joey p suddenly on the booze and fag wagon in preparation for his coach journey, all of us pretty knackered.

Left about 11 on sunday and really enjoyed driving through the dales. Me and simon decided to head to harrogate as the weather was so lovely. Headed for Betty's and had an insanely amazing lunch! Gazed at all the easter stuff for ages, they have a range of eggs that cost between 150 and 200 quid!! judging by some of the people there ( i saw a little wizened lady with dyed jet black hair and huge shades clap her hands together loudly behind the doorman's head to get his attention, pretty amazing levels of rude) they can def afford it.

walked round the parks which had the most crocuses (croci biggsy suggests? makes sense...) in that i have ever seen in my life, literally carpetting the ground for metres and metres squared.

came home and had a sweet sweet nap...

as for yesterday, spent the day at the studio printing with daffodils, quite possible the most satisfying excercise ever!

so, that's about it. just thinking a lot about my interview on thursday and swinging between sheer blind panic and not thinking about it at all in denial...

anyhoo, jeremy kyle no longer holds it's usual appeal so i think i will leave now while it's still on (i know!) laters potaters!

spring is springed

hellaaaw hellaww

well haven't i been a busy bloody bee lately?

as you know, chloe came to stay for the grand unveiling of country house cooking contest which was thoroughly enjoyed by all, despite my incredible fury at the injustice of it all, and the fact that JBR was pissed so was not fit to judge anything.

ricky came up too and we ventured off to Bradford to the Film and Media museum which is really brilliant, i can't believe i haven't been before, have i already talked about this? i can't remember! anyway, the ground floor is just free computer games and arcade games from all decades including the wonderful Goldeneye, which brought back MANY a memory and was thoroughly enjoyable to watch chloe try to get a hang of the controls after all this time while her gun waggled about in the air shooting straight into the clear blue sky while a baddie shot her in the gut, then the old familiar desperation of try to slap them to death, remember 'slappers only' on Goldeneye? great times.

anyway, loads and loads to do there, lots of sets from animation which was amazing, including a wallace and gromit and a wombles set, we (perhaps ill advised) attended a talk about the Fairy photos from the 20's (we were the only ones there, i may also add that i forced the others to come) two old men wandered over and joined in, when i say joined in, they blurted out irrelevant information every few seconds 'oh, we're from london' 'i saw a programme about this on telly' 'weird to think my auntie was alive when this happened' and so on and so on, i made exaggerated 'hmmm, oh wow' noises every time they spoke in order to make chloe laugh, but she stood quire resolute.

The photos were ridiculous, you know, the ones of the little girls with fairies, even in those days it was a real struggle to conceive that ANYONE had believed them for a second, all i can think is that there was a mass-nervous breakdown going on cause of the First World War? they look like flat white bits of paper and are awkwardly drawn at that, not to mention that the girls are staring into the middle distance, clearly not interacting with the little faries, there's even an elf with a belly button and curly shoes, it's rank, Arthur Conan-Doyle said it proved that fairies reproduced like humans which is a foul idea to say the least.

anyway, because they were quite posh no one ever had the nuts to say 'you little bloody liars!' and they only confessed to it in the 1980's!!! honestly.

spent friday in the studio getting on with ricky's album covers ahead of him album launch in april. Came home and cooked an insanely massive curry for the first time all alone without the guidance of someone who knows what they're doing, turned out pretty good. PLayed streetfighter on the wii, one of our classic games.

saturday was an insane day of activities,we went to saltaire to the mill which in all honesty is pretty lame, the only thing that redeems it is that it's an amazing building, however the hockney's are hard to look at cause of all the people bundling about and shopping and eating. went to a mental little cafe in a basement and had toasties and tea and teacake and fundge cake and all the other good tearoom things, then we headed to the main event: LASERQUEST! yes! at Castleford Xscape. i haven't played laser quest since i was about 10 so i was almost nervous! however it was insanely fun, there was a team of evil blue (there were 3 teams, blue red yellow) children who were about 2 foot so naturally i concentrated on taking them DOWN however they were easily the scariest and when me nd chloe stormed their base they shoved us out! little bastards, i easily got most satisfaction from shooting them. I did the best out of us all by a long way, coming 10th out of 37! clearly my reckless drive to eliminate the bases paid off, combined with my ruthless gun skills of course.

went to the chippy restaurant which is honestly like something from the 60's and was informed that they cooked everything in beef bloody fat so i had to have some insane vegetarian dinner! never mind that fact i've been eating their chips for ages! finally ended the day at the pub playing staring contests and laughing uproariously at the mental faces we were inventing.

the good news? i had an interview today for a library job, and i actually GOT it, despite my resolution to the fact that i definitely wouldn't. to say that i was overjoyed would be the understatement of the century. maybe things will turn around for me in 2010? better not speak too soon but anyway, for once i am optimistic and have the prospect of some money and some self-esteem.

so here i have added some pics i just took in the churchyard next to my flat, i love crocuses so much and no picture will ever show how totally vibrant they are. they are also really fragile and disappear so suddenly once their job is done, i always imagine people in the old days who relied on warm weather so much more than we do, seeing them and feeling suddenly like things were going to be okay after all.

good day

Good day, My name is Mr William Wilcox , I work with the Euro Lottery. I am soliciting your assistance for a swift transfer of 4,528,000 GBP, should you be willing to assist me in this project? you will be giving me just 40% of your winnings.Just as a brief,you just have to register online,due to my position in the company I can make it happen that you would be a winner of the above stated amount.Naturally, every body would like to play a lottery if they are assured of winning.I am assuring you today to be a winner, please do not take for granted this once in a life time opportunity as we both stand to collectively gain from this at the success of the transaction.Should you be willing to assist me in this transaction please do respond to e-mail:WilliamWilcox101@admin.in.th Regards,William Wilcox

the title of this email was: 'good day'

hahaha! proof that the sender is well-bred and genuine!!


well i can't really write a blog because i am being hassled from all sides to get on with the writing that i must submit prior to my interview (i know, interview!). i really can't talk about it cause i am too scared and i don't want to jinx it...

sorry about that, promise i shall write tomorrow! x x x x x x x

not much to report!

how are you my plummy plum heads?
lots more relaxing today as the days must revolve around Country house cooking contest (CHCC).
today was a travesty. there was no actual reason for removing chloe, peter the prick made quite honestly one of the most horrific things i have ever seen, utterly disgusting, cold, oozing oil filling your mouth, RANK. chloe made her own bread for fuck's sake! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


aaanyway. now i am watching wedding sos, but we have also enjoyed UNdercover Princesses, it's on on sun night, i really recommend it. 3 princesses are trying to find a man in england (uh oh, good luck) and for this task they have been put down in a village in essex! two of them don't drink which is basically going to prevent any man from seeming at ALL appealing to them in England! One of them hates the sight of men drinking! they have been out 3 times and each time to a pub! uh oh! One of them is a very sweet blonde german girl but she fancies everyone! and has already gone straight for a ludicrous english man who looks totally baffled and clueless about why she desperately fancies him immediately! definitely watch it!

anyway. rowey has gone to get pizza and me and chlo have magazines, sweeet and there's Masterchef to look forward to, greg's little side mouth and john who can't talk but can only shout.

hmmm sorry the blog is so boring at the mo. off for a day of excitement in bradford tomorrow so hopefully it'll be more riveting. OH i did cook possibly the single greatest victoria sponge in the history of the world so we've been enjoying that as well...