hey hey it's me blog fans, been ages again i know. i can't will myself to write most of the time.
So what's new? hhmmm uh huh, yup, interesting.
now me.
I am on a diet, kind of, as in i am going to be less greedy, i have gone in a bit at the deep end and made a lunch which i am sure will have me eating my oval rubber later on in the studio, but i truly feel compacted with fat like a Scottish Lawn sausage so i am finally going to swim and run about a bit, the myriad of things that come from putting on weight are driving me mental such as having so discernable jaw so i feel like the Radish God off 'spirited away' (although i also often feel like the big head witch too, oh, and her fat baby too...hmm)
also when i am walking i feel often as if i have vast weights attached to me (i mean technically, i do, my thighs) i also hate having this vast cumbersome chest that i never used to have and prevents you from ever feeling slender, i know how my granny has always felt now.
SO i am taking action blog friends, i have a Dr Karg. crispbread and a yoghurt, i am off to the swimming pool, which is as much for my back as it is for my thighs, I have also registered for pilates for back pain so i am becoming quite, well, you know, whatever.
what else is new??
i have been snapping up bargains, i am currently wearing some 'Next' shoes that cost me £2 from the shop in wakey called freddies that sells stuff from proper shops for nowt, i have also discovered shoe zone but immediately discovered why their shoes are so cheap...
me and olivia spent a lost weekend watching the only way is essex, Towie, to those in the know, and have discovered the genius that is Joey Essex, tiny trousered club promoter who is so stupid that you actually envy him cause everything is amazing to him, he's like a man-child.
it is dangerour to watch though as i seriously want botox now, really seriously, and i would def get other stuff if i had money. so better not watch it any more...
god healthy food is crunchy, i've nearly crunched my gums off!
spent the royal wedding in dorset with grandma, then had a wee picnic at Cerne Abbas in my grandpa's care home which was a nice way to do it i feel, royal wedding overkill has now swiftly been replaced by osama bin laden overkill (literally) and the usual wooping and screaming american's devoid of any sense of consequence or hypocrisy, it all makes me very unsettled and unhappy.
you'll all be pleased to hear that the bunnies are mad as ever and hopping like crazy although that may be because simon trod on frida's foot yesterday...census ends on friday so i will be freed of my evening obligations and able to get back into the studio. Bloody voting tomorrow and still can't decide which way to go.
most importantly, my sister lalage sat on a cat in a tea room on sunday, thinking it was a cushion.
that is the greatest thing that has happened all year.
speak soon blog faces.
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
Friday, 18 February 2011
february-the shittest month? contender?
Oh february, you have one thing going for you, you are suprisingly short, so payday comes around faster...
the weather is mad in february and every winter seems longer each year...my life is like a big winter oh shut your face rose.
so actually things have been looking up a bit, my contract was extended for another year which i have been dreading not happening. i have applied for an MA which is probably going to be funded too, pretty nice.
my bunnies are quite quiet actually thanks, but nice of you to ask. they are shedding which makes them withdraw somewhat but didn't stop one of them (i have my suspicions who) shitting 1.5 metres up the wall, i didn't know whether to be angry or to give them a round of applause! as it was i was so stunned that i just laughed in admiration.
off to cambridge later, haven't been since xmas, got a hosp appt and then off to see grandma. Uncle tim is living there too at the mo which is going to be slightly mental! however i intend to run across the hills and try and run some tit fat off that dog of grandmas, you know, the one who sings when you play the accordian, fuck mumford and sons and their london folk music, Goldie the dog sings haunting ballads when given the chance, she's suffered alright and her music shows that. although you wouldn't know it now by her grinning face and 10 big tits.
anyway, enough about a dog's tits.
i was trying to clean some of the creeping black mould off my window earlier in the week and it suddenly started to rain REALLY hard, like in a film hard, then that turned to hail, there was a boy walking back from school in the passage beneath and he had his arms outstretched and was nodding his head forwards and backwards and shouting something as if to say 'come ooooonn' he was laughing too, he looked up and saw me and we both laughed, at the hail and at me seeing him and at him getting soaked but not caring, enjoying it, it was pretty sweet.
there's probably a novel in that. 'The creeping mould and the laughing simpleton' or something.
anyway, iam OFF. got a week off woo hoo, having my 3rd wisdom out in March by LOCAL anaesthetic i can't believe i tried to be a hero with that?! what a fool! it's going to be AWFUL!
laters pets
pS how much are you LOVING berlusconi going on trial? he DEF won't get sentenced but that doesn't mean we can't dream!!!
the weather is mad in february and every winter seems longer each year...my life is like a big winter oh shut your face rose.
so actually things have been looking up a bit, my contract was extended for another year which i have been dreading not happening. i have applied for an MA which is probably going to be funded too, pretty nice.
my bunnies are quite quiet actually thanks, but nice of you to ask. they are shedding which makes them withdraw somewhat but didn't stop one of them (i have my suspicions who) shitting 1.5 metres up the wall, i didn't know whether to be angry or to give them a round of applause! as it was i was so stunned that i just laughed in admiration.
off to cambridge later, haven't been since xmas, got a hosp appt and then off to see grandma. Uncle tim is living there too at the mo which is going to be slightly mental! however i intend to run across the hills and try and run some tit fat off that dog of grandmas, you know, the one who sings when you play the accordian, fuck mumford and sons and their london folk music, Goldie the dog sings haunting ballads when given the chance, she's suffered alright and her music shows that. although you wouldn't know it now by her grinning face and 10 big tits.
anyway, enough about a dog's tits.
i was trying to clean some of the creeping black mould off my window earlier in the week and it suddenly started to rain REALLY hard, like in a film hard, then that turned to hail, there was a boy walking back from school in the passage beneath and he had his arms outstretched and was nodding his head forwards and backwards and shouting something as if to say 'come ooooonn' he was laughing too, he looked up and saw me and we both laughed, at the hail and at me seeing him and at him getting soaked but not caring, enjoying it, it was pretty sweet.
there's probably a novel in that. 'The creeping mould and the laughing simpleton' or something.
anyway, iam OFF. got a week off woo hoo, having my 3rd wisdom out in March by LOCAL anaesthetic i can't believe i tried to be a hero with that?! what a fool! it's going to be AWFUL!
laters pets
pS how much are you LOVING berlusconi going on trial? he DEF won't get sentenced but that doesn't mean we can't dream!!!
Friday, 11 February 2011
people+journey=bastard life
the annoyance at people on the bus/train/ at the station continues.
i have realised you can divide public transport people into a few simple categories and sub-categories:
1. the socially unaware-
a.people who believe that their journey is more important than anyone elses.
likely characteristics of this are:
talking loudly on a phone, putting their newspaper/briefcase on the seat next to them or just sitting in the aisle and leaving the other seat empty, pushing you out of the way or walking fast and hard and cutting you up really badly-this is especially common at the ticket barrier, fighting with staff if the train is delayed.
b. clueless people-
likely character traits:
Old, teenage, like to stop at the top of a flight of stairs to count their tickets, can't operate the ticket barrier and force a large queue to build (where you are likely to meet character a) stand across the escalator so no one can get past, walk down the stairs very slowly with a dog/bag/ teenagers in a gang ( i have missed a train before just cause of the stair slowness) ask for information at the desk but don't understand the answer, teenagers gang about with lots of mcdonalds bags, usually drinking milkshakes.
On the bus they are likely to ask for complex directions or have lots of trouble finding their bus pass/ change and cause the bus to stop for minutes at a time.
2. the socially aware-
a. Fighters
Likely characteristics:
swear loudly and mutter about anything to do with the train or the bus driver ie 'where the fuck is he going?' they absolutely DON'T want a response to their outbursts, they just want to make sure you can hear them and be more upset than you are. especially common on buses (where yesterday i saw a man confront a driver for changing the ticket roll whilst at a red light, he took a photo of the man and said 'you are putting these people's lives in danger' then when he got off continued arguing and said 'i'll kill you' which made him lose the moral high ground that he was going for, it lasted in all about 3 minutes and was unbearably cringemaking to watch) these people may behave badly, ie smoke, argue into their phone, in order to prompt an argument with another person on the bus/train.
b. Chatters.
Likely characteristics:
male. nearly always men. middle aged, dressed strangely, often with a musty smell, these people want to engage in some banter (led by them) well, they want to talk AT someone as they think that they are wasted and have a lot of stuff to impart on the public seated around them. This usually takes the form of them saying something in response to someone else who is NOT talking to them, when they join in, or else they will talk about weather/delay, but quickly turn it round to them/ where they're from/ what they do/ the old days. you normally feel sorry for them but really want them to shut up, there's normally an element of sexism/racism in their conversation, normally directed at the person nearest them. No amount of ignoring will abate it.
c. Should-know-betters.
Likey characteristics:
Seemingly normal looking women or men, aged 25-45, these people are average people on the street who betray casual bastardly behaviour, if confronted would probably crumble, but may lash out so gauge it well. These are the people who board the empty bus and immediately sit in the disabled seat, staring at the floor or their metro when someone who needs it gets on. they also sit red faced and burning with guilty but righteous silence on the train in their seat while pregnant women/older people stand pressed next to them staring down at them. They never offer to help elderly people off the train, even if they have a huge bag, or ladies with prams even if you give them a death stare and do it yourself.
They are a mystery to all people who were raised well. Basically the kind of people who would find a tenner on the bus, suspect the old lady getting off dropped it, but decide to keep it and tell themselves it is okay.
d. normil
there are normil people who do their best on the train and bus, i never see any, but i know i am one and that most of the people i know are,ok i do see them now and again and i always feel warmth towards them. Even us normils are prone to the odd mutter but mine is always directed at a passenger not the driver.
Final bonus category:
Posh people
-just can't do public transport, their presence in the carridge is distracting and they are likely to do some of the above but mostly their voices drive you mad and they are always on the phone. they also always manage to wangle 2 seats and usually eat something very healthy that looks rank. you end up listening to their myriad of conversations all the way.
laters potaters, i am off to do my daily bus then train journey home, wish me luck :)
ps. the trains are FUCKING expensive and genuinely get shitter day by day so we should be angry about that! my train is on time perhaps 1 day a week but often none, and is delayed by more than 10 minutes 2 or 3 times a week.
i have realised you can divide public transport people into a few simple categories and sub-categories:
1. the socially unaware-
a.people who believe that their journey is more important than anyone elses.
likely characteristics of this are:
talking loudly on a phone, putting their newspaper/briefcase on the seat next to them or just sitting in the aisle and leaving the other seat empty, pushing you out of the way or walking fast and hard and cutting you up really badly-this is especially common at the ticket barrier, fighting with staff if the train is delayed.
b. clueless people-
likely character traits:
Old, teenage, like to stop at the top of a flight of stairs to count their tickets, can't operate the ticket barrier and force a large queue to build (where you are likely to meet character a) stand across the escalator so no one can get past, walk down the stairs very slowly with a dog/bag/ teenagers in a gang ( i have missed a train before just cause of the stair slowness) ask for information at the desk but don't understand the answer, teenagers gang about with lots of mcdonalds bags, usually drinking milkshakes.
On the bus they are likely to ask for complex directions or have lots of trouble finding their bus pass/ change and cause the bus to stop for minutes at a time.
2. the socially aware-
a. Fighters
Likely characteristics:
swear loudly and mutter about anything to do with the train or the bus driver ie 'where the fuck is he going?' they absolutely DON'T want a response to their outbursts, they just want to make sure you can hear them and be more upset than you are. especially common on buses (where yesterday i saw a man confront a driver for changing the ticket roll whilst at a red light, he took a photo of the man and said 'you are putting these people's lives in danger' then when he got off continued arguing and said 'i'll kill you' which made him lose the moral high ground that he was going for, it lasted in all about 3 minutes and was unbearably cringemaking to watch) these people may behave badly, ie smoke, argue into their phone, in order to prompt an argument with another person on the bus/train.
b. Chatters.
Likely characteristics:
male. nearly always men. middle aged, dressed strangely, often with a musty smell, these people want to engage in some banter (led by them) well, they want to talk AT someone as they think that they are wasted and have a lot of stuff to impart on the public seated around them. This usually takes the form of them saying something in response to someone else who is NOT talking to them, when they join in, or else they will talk about weather/delay, but quickly turn it round to them/ where they're from/ what they do/ the old days. you normally feel sorry for them but really want them to shut up, there's normally an element of sexism/racism in their conversation, normally directed at the person nearest them. No amount of ignoring will abate it.
c. Should-know-betters.
Likey characteristics:
Seemingly normal looking women or men, aged 25-45, these people are average people on the street who betray casual bastardly behaviour, if confronted would probably crumble, but may lash out so gauge it well. These are the people who board the empty bus and immediately sit in the disabled seat, staring at the floor or their metro when someone who needs it gets on. they also sit red faced and burning with guilty but righteous silence on the train in their seat while pregnant women/older people stand pressed next to them staring down at them. They never offer to help elderly people off the train, even if they have a huge bag, or ladies with prams even if you give them a death stare and do it yourself.
They are a mystery to all people who were raised well. Basically the kind of people who would find a tenner on the bus, suspect the old lady getting off dropped it, but decide to keep it and tell themselves it is okay.
d. normil
there are normil people who do their best on the train and bus, i never see any, but i know i am one and that most of the people i know are,ok i do see them now and again and i always feel warmth towards them. Even us normils are prone to the odd mutter but mine is always directed at a passenger not the driver.
Final bonus category:
Posh people
-just can't do public transport, their presence in the carridge is distracting and they are likely to do some of the above but mostly their voices drive you mad and they are always on the phone. they also always manage to wangle 2 seats and usually eat something very healthy that looks rank. you end up listening to their myriad of conversations all the way.
laters potaters, i am off to do my daily bus then train journey home, wish me luck :)
ps. the trains are FUCKING expensive and genuinely get shitter day by day so we should be angry about that! my train is on time perhaps 1 day a week but often none, and is delayed by more than 10 minutes 2 or 3 times a week.
Monday, 31 January 2011
continuation of the acceptance of facts...
Marie says i look like 'Olympia' by Manet which i LOVE!!!
except without the servant.....and also not so confident in the nip, but who knows, that may change! always nice to get flowers anyway!
Friday, 28 January 2011
acceptance of the facts.
I had an ex boyfriend who used to call me by the name of a cartoon character ( a shit cartoon character i might add, one that everyone hates) much to my annoyance, then after going out with Simon for quite a short time he also sprung upon this nickname quite by chance, i have never mentioned it of course, then last night someone i work with suddenly said, haha you remind me of ..... and said the name of this bloody cartoon character!! I almost fainted. I have now had to accept that I am the human incarnation of this cartoon character. There is something that I can't see but it must be there.
It's a hard thing for a 28 year old woman to finally accept that the sum total of their life's efforts, including those made to buy nice clothes, look pretty, and further themselves intelectually as much as is possible, have results in a resemblance most closely associated with a highly unpopular cartoon dog, nephew of a scared dog, characterised by a tiny stature and a reckless desire to scrap with people and named after this particluar characteristic.
Other people I have been told I look like are:
Tina O Brian from Coronation ST I got this a LOT when I was at Leeds Uni and working at the Spread Eagle, I was quite blonde then and obviously a lot thinner!! I didn't know who she was then but i still don't see it at all.
I also got Lucy Speed off Eastenders which I really don't see, I got that 2 or 3 times and I actually was slightly annoyed about that at the time as she looked loads older than me then and had thin lips.
Angela Lansbury is who one of those 'who do you look like' internet things told me i looked like a few years ago. I was LOVING that though!!! :)
I think I look like Ponyo, at least, I think of myself as being like Ponyo. She's on the left :)
Someone once went off on one for ages about how I was EXACTLY Karen from Will and Grace, you know the total lush? who's in her mid-40's? with the squealing voice? who tells everyone what to do all the time? and lives on another planet? and is a magnet for camp gay men?? needless to say i was not impressed.
Simon also calls me Orm, from Orm and cheep. I always thought this was a reference to my scattiness but then when I saw Orm I realised the resemblence was too uncanny for it to be a coincidence...I think you will agree.....
Tuesday, 25 January 2011
tv is good for you
hey hey january is a time to turn over a new leaf and all that so me and rowey have done just that in our watching of amazing TV programmes on the new unbelievably sweet big telly. I will give yuo a run down of these delights...
my new daily watch goes by the name of 'peak season' we stumbled upon it by mistake and laughed all the way through, now however i must watch it every day. I think i have been looking for something to replace the 'Neighbours' shaped hole in my life for ages, well, since i stopped watching neighbours anyway- it's funny about neighbours, for about 15 years of my life the day was always divided by Neighbours, it was divided into before and after neighbours, you would watch it twice in the holidays or when you were sick, and the benchmark was always to get back in time for neighbours. then it just moved channel and all stopped, i mean it was getting a lot crapper but you know, it's Neighbours, it's sacred!
ANYWAY Peak Season, here's the rundown:
it's one of those 1/2 reality programmes like the Hills which I have never understood and still don't really but i think the premise is that is IS reality, but not in the sense that the meetings/ dinners etc are all staged and filmed and probably the production crew interfere quite a lot. It is in Whistler and follows people living around the ski slopes although they all only snowboard natch eh? they are such a gaggle of idiots it is actually breathtaking, it's kind of like watching a group of spoilt teenagers who look a lot older and more haggard than they probably are, plus they dress in skater stuff which looks like it's loads too big for them so they literally look like children. Their names come up every time they appear, although the boys are all named according to who they have been out with so, Dre 'amanda's ex' and so on.
Basically what happens is that; they go out and get pissed and one of the sets of ex's with have a fight, or else some girls will have a fight. Other than that they talk about their careers which are all working in shops as it is a ski resort and not the stock exchange, but even then, they really only ever ever talk about boys/ girls depending on if they are boys/ girls.that is literally IT. For example, this week, all the girls and boys went clubbing and one of the girls got pisssed and folllowed her ex hitting him, she also bit him on the arm. one girl got fired and decided to set up a promotions company, then that was it, she HAD a promotions company, just cause she said she had one...one of the boys is even uglier than the others, he stood in the gym with one of the other boys looking at his muscles going 'i wish i had a mirror like this at home, don't you love watching your muscles?' so that's the long and the short of it. get used to it. OH and one couple is Australian and the boy autralian is the biggest bastard of all and keeps wandering off and abandoning his girlfriend everywhere, she's going home in disgust. really australian's should know better, he's embarrassing his country hanging out with these Canadians.
Me and simon enjoyed an episode of 'sun, sea and a&e' late last saturday night, we were treated to a girl who had sprained both her ankles having a dance-off with someone! A girl who had woken up naked at the bottom of a flight of stairs and thought it was the past, she was kindly left on a stretcher byt the spanish dr's for about 48hrs none of the staff at the hospital could conceal their contempt for the British. Best of all was a girl who had punched herself in the throat dancing to some pumping house (or whatever the kids call it) !! she was SUCH an arse!! there was nothing wrong with her at all! she did say at one point that she went to a&e 'about 5 times a year' so there you go.
(very) Similar in theme is another programme that we caught, namely 'sun, sea, and suspicious parents' as with the previous you can probably guess the main idea here, basically the camera follows 2 people going on holiday away from home for the first time and their suspicious parents creep all over the resort following them and hiding in cupboards while they go on the pull and so on. some of the have been extremely creepy to say the least, one lad's mum was so so reluctant to let him go in any way it was terrifying, they finally appeared while her son was having a naked lapdance and the mum's stupid grinning head reared up next to the lady's tits! If that isn't going to confuse his sexual feelings for the rest of his life then nothing is!
still off the booze at the moment, although that will change this weekend in Newcastle as the fine wines and champagne will be flowing for Liv's birthday, got loads of treats lined up and i do not intend to hold back!
just got to head home and try to sew this f-ing dress that i foolishly decided to make like a prize tit.
my new daily watch goes by the name of 'peak season' we stumbled upon it by mistake and laughed all the way through, now however i must watch it every day. I think i have been looking for something to replace the 'Neighbours' shaped hole in my life for ages, well, since i stopped watching neighbours anyway- it's funny about neighbours, for about 15 years of my life the day was always divided by Neighbours, it was divided into before and after neighbours, you would watch it twice in the holidays or when you were sick, and the benchmark was always to get back in time for neighbours. then it just moved channel and all stopped, i mean it was getting a lot crapper but you know, it's Neighbours, it's sacred!
ANYWAY Peak Season, here's the rundown:
it's one of those 1/2 reality programmes like the Hills which I have never understood and still don't really but i think the premise is that is IS reality, but not in the sense that the meetings/ dinners etc are all staged and filmed and probably the production crew interfere quite a lot. It is in Whistler and follows people living around the ski slopes although they all only snowboard natch eh? they are such a gaggle of idiots it is actually breathtaking, it's kind of like watching a group of spoilt teenagers who look a lot older and more haggard than they probably are, plus they dress in skater stuff which looks like it's loads too big for them so they literally look like children. Their names come up every time they appear, although the boys are all named according to who they have been out with so, Dre 'amanda's ex' and so on.
Basically what happens is that; they go out and get pissed and one of the sets of ex's with have a fight, or else some girls will have a fight. Other than that they talk about their careers which are all working in shops as it is a ski resort and not the stock exchange, but even then, they really only ever ever talk about boys/ girls depending on if they are boys/ girls.that is literally IT. For example, this week, all the girls and boys went clubbing and one of the girls got pisssed and folllowed her ex hitting him, she also bit him on the arm. one girl got fired and decided to set up a promotions company, then that was it, she HAD a promotions company, just cause she said she had one...one of the boys is even uglier than the others, he stood in the gym with one of the other boys looking at his muscles going 'i wish i had a mirror like this at home, don't you love watching your muscles?' so that's the long and the short of it. get used to it. OH and one couple is Australian and the boy autralian is the biggest bastard of all and keeps wandering off and abandoning his girlfriend everywhere, she's going home in disgust. really australian's should know better, he's embarrassing his country hanging out with these Canadians.
Me and simon enjoyed an episode of 'sun, sea and a&e' late last saturday night, we were treated to a girl who had sprained both her ankles having a dance-off with someone! A girl who had woken up naked at the bottom of a flight of stairs and thought it was the past, she was kindly left on a stretcher byt the spanish dr's for about 48hrs none of the staff at the hospital could conceal their contempt for the British. Best of all was a girl who had punched herself in the throat dancing to some pumping house (or whatever the kids call it) !! she was SUCH an arse!! there was nothing wrong with her at all! she did say at one point that she went to a&e 'about 5 times a year' so there you go.
(very) Similar in theme is another programme that we caught, namely 'sun, sea, and suspicious parents' as with the previous you can probably guess the main idea here, basically the camera follows 2 people going on holiday away from home for the first time and their suspicious parents creep all over the resort following them and hiding in cupboards while they go on the pull and so on. some of the have been extremely creepy to say the least, one lad's mum was so so reluctant to let him go in any way it was terrifying, they finally appeared while her son was having a naked lapdance and the mum's stupid grinning head reared up next to the lady's tits! If that isn't going to confuse his sexual feelings for the rest of his life then nothing is!
still off the booze at the moment, although that will change this weekend in Newcastle as the fine wines and champagne will be flowing for Liv's birthday, got loads of treats lined up and i do not intend to hold back!
just got to head home and try to sew this f-ing dress that i foolishly decided to make like a prize tit.
Thursday, 20 January 2011
usual january SHIT-fest
I am being followed...by a cat. always in the same place. i do talk to it, so maybe it thinks it's okay, i started with things like "eeeuurgh" and "piss off cat/catface" but it has developed now into a more acccepting "so i suppose we're friends now?" . It made me realise much as i despise cats and their spittle encrusted hair and evil snake eyes, i would still look after one if it was getting picked on... although not touch it or anything. I am slightly scarred for life by memories of being around cats and how totally sick they make me and how people always always think that their cat WON'T make you ill cause they don't let it on the sofa/ they aired the room/ it hardly ever comes in here or whatever but it never makes a difference and makes you just as ill wherever it is. plus you always feel so rude, like you're overexaggerating, when you point out you can't handle it's effect on your lungs, i remember so many sleepovers at my best friends house when i was little where my lungs were just ringing like a bell, i never made it past about 11 before my dad had to get me, i also remember a sleepover in school where i looked in from outside cause i'd had to leave and the host told me off for breathing on the window! having said that, next time i stayed there the cat left our tent just as i went in which made me even more suspicious...it was def following me. at my friend kathryn's house i twice slept with my arms on the window sill and head out of the window sitting on the floor. it's really annoying actually. Rabbits are very low allergy causing pets.lovely rabbits. i LOVE my rabbits yes, yes i do. they follow you too, but you have to pretend you aren't looking. they do have a habit of running between your legs so very occassionally one of them gets scooped up on my foot and hurled down the hall by mistake. they don't seem to mind.
people on the other hand are causing me much concern at the moment.
they are depressing, have you ever noticed? and infuriating.
take this incident on the train the day before yesterday, the train is a daily source of fury as it's like being let into a museum of people displaying openly their natural selfishness and insularity. Someone texted the metro yesterday saying 'no i won't give you my seat, i paid for it, you're pregnant not ill.' and that was a WOMAN!
god i pray she doesn't have children. or any friends.
anyway so i was on the train after work, trying to read but distracted by a woman who was talking on her phone " yeah i'm on my way to Australia NOW, no i gave my key to the neighbour, god i have really screwed everything up, no well all i care about is the radio, so long as that's safe, i have fucked it all up, i have ruined everything, well they have to let me in when i get to brisbane, well i don't know what immigration will do but i am going now" on and so on...
i couldn't see her but i felt sorry for her, i hate it when people think they have ruined their life and i wanted to say 'don't worry!'
a couple of minutes later she started calling to the man across the way "excuse me, can you help me? help me please!"
-this man incidentally had also been distracting me as he had the singular most chesty cough i had ever heard in my life, he was talking also an dhis voice was so husky he sounded like he was literally about to die of emphysema, it was hurting my lungs to hear him
he heard her pleas, 'yes, what is it?' " excuse meee, i have dropped my i pod, i can't see it anywhere, i've looked everywhere"
-i must interject that she HADN'T looked everywhere, she hadn't moved at all.
"oh right, um, did you look in your bag?' he said pointing to her bag on the floor
"yeees, yes" she said impatiently "can you help me"
the rasping man arose, he was in his 60's i'd say and at this point i presumed that to ask HIM she must be very elderly and/or disabled in some way, why else would you ask this clearly breathless grey haired man to do such a thing? He got slowly onto his knees and ran his hands around on the dirty train floor, the woman still didn't move" i can't see it!" this went on for a few minutes till he hauled himself up, apologised profusely and sat back down.
SUDDENLY the woman SPRANG to her able-feet, she was about 45 at the most, wearing hiking boots, perfectly fit and healthy! I shook my head in total astonishment, 2 seconds later she turned to him, having bent over and looked about "it was in my bag!hahaha!" she laughed. "oh right, ok" said the man, probably 2 years closer to death.
I felt like i needed to get up and talk to them both: now look, what just happened there?why are you behaving like this? and you, what's wrong with you, she's younger than you, tell her off! ask her if she's mad? at least say 'i told you it was in your bag you LAZY ABLE-BODIED MADWOMAN! i presumed you had a disability i couldn't see! why were you saying help help like someone out at sea?! And while we're at it, what's going on with this Australia thing? why do you need to just keep a radio? what's so good about it? you've got an i pod even, that's better already?! was this a trick? did you rob him while he looked? it can be the only explanation!! i HATEEEEE YOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!
but i didn't of course. i just added it to my general annoyance black cloud and turned my attention back to the incredibly annoying women at my table talking about vegetarianism and carried on arguing with them in my head.
people on the other hand are causing me much concern at the moment.
they are depressing, have you ever noticed? and infuriating.
take this incident on the train the day before yesterday, the train is a daily source of fury as it's like being let into a museum of people displaying openly their natural selfishness and insularity. Someone texted the metro yesterday saying 'no i won't give you my seat, i paid for it, you're pregnant not ill.' and that was a WOMAN!
god i pray she doesn't have children. or any friends.
anyway so i was on the train after work, trying to read but distracted by a woman who was talking on her phone " yeah i'm on my way to Australia NOW, no i gave my key to the neighbour, god i have really screwed everything up, no well all i care about is the radio, so long as that's safe, i have fucked it all up, i have ruined everything, well they have to let me in when i get to brisbane, well i don't know what immigration will do but i am going now" on and so on...
i couldn't see her but i felt sorry for her, i hate it when people think they have ruined their life and i wanted to say 'don't worry!'
a couple of minutes later she started calling to the man across the way "excuse me, can you help me? help me please!"
-this man incidentally had also been distracting me as he had the singular most chesty cough i had ever heard in my life, he was talking also an dhis voice was so husky he sounded like he was literally about to die of emphysema, it was hurting my lungs to hear him
he heard her pleas, 'yes, what is it?' " excuse meee, i have dropped my i pod, i can't see it anywhere, i've looked everywhere"
-i must interject that she HADN'T looked everywhere, she hadn't moved at all.
"oh right, um, did you look in your bag?' he said pointing to her bag on the floor
"yeees, yes" she said impatiently "can you help me"
the rasping man arose, he was in his 60's i'd say and at this point i presumed that to ask HIM she must be very elderly and/or disabled in some way, why else would you ask this clearly breathless grey haired man to do such a thing? He got slowly onto his knees and ran his hands around on the dirty train floor, the woman still didn't move" i can't see it!" this went on for a few minutes till he hauled himself up, apologised profusely and sat back down.
SUDDENLY the woman SPRANG to her able-feet, she was about 45 at the most, wearing hiking boots, perfectly fit and healthy! I shook my head in total astonishment, 2 seconds later she turned to him, having bent over and looked about "it was in my bag!hahaha!" she laughed. "oh right, ok" said the man, probably 2 years closer to death.
I felt like i needed to get up and talk to them both: now look, what just happened there?why are you behaving like this? and you, what's wrong with you, she's younger than you, tell her off! ask her if she's mad? at least say 'i told you it was in your bag you LAZY ABLE-BODIED MADWOMAN! i presumed you had a disability i couldn't see! why were you saying help help like someone out at sea?! And while we're at it, what's going on with this Australia thing? why do you need to just keep a radio? what's so good about it? you've got an i pod even, that's better already?! was this a trick? did you rob him while he looked? it can be the only explanation!! i HATEEEEE YOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!
but i didn't of course. i just added it to my general annoyance black cloud and turned my attention back to the incredibly annoying women at my table talking about vegetarianism and carried on arguing with them in my head.
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