Wednesday, 9 December 2009

just got back from the christmas party, fuelled up with old feelings of inadequacy so i can't sleep!
i don't know what is wrong with me and why i can't just say look, i'm a 27 year old woman, there is nothing wrong with me, i love my family, they love me, i love my friends, they probably like me a bit too, i'm in debt, but so is everyone, plus, i'm chasing a dream kind of, which lots of people aren't lucky enough to do, i don't give a shit about these peripheral people in my life, it doesn't matter if they like me, i'll never see them again, but nothing has changed on that score, i am just the same as i've always been all my bloody life, it's like my Russian Travel diary from 1998, as i found on saturday, says, 'everyone here wants me to fuck off-i know it'. that feeling never ever goes away... i need a brain operation. or a personality transplant!

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