2010

well i never, is this the blog, back? for 2010?? just when you thought it would never happen??

there's too much to say but at the same time nothing to say....hmmm...

well, I headed back to the bridge on the 23rd, spent Chritmas eve relaxing and making the marzipan shapes for the Christmas cake, I decided to depict the 'alleged' poisoning of Sir Thomas Overbury in the tower of London, accompanied by the 60 stools that he passed before dying, James the I being camp, Lady Somerset bringing him poisoned jellies and Lord Somerset telling the court that he and James may have done the rude while being smothered by Francis Bacon...I know, I know, it's a bit obvious, but it is an absolute Christmas cake CLASSIC.

had the mentalest christmas ever, and anyone who knows my family knows that that must be pre-etty mental indeed...however that is another story...

spent a LOT of time playing Guitar Hero as a band, me on vocals (forte's included: Hungry Like a Wolf, Heart Shaped Box, DU HAST, by Rammstein, and No-one Knows) dad on bass (scribidiba babaaa) Gabs on drums (no one else was trusted with this role, although a few days later I was allowed a go and I was pretty good, he wouldn't say so, but I was!) Chlo on GIIItarrr woop with an alternating selection of Simon Rowe/ Liv and Rick stepping in, I can't think of these long band sessions without thinking: Sweaty (it makes you REALLY sweaty, even singing does!) and CAVA as it seemed to be being drunk as if from an endless fountain...

I managed to avoid not one, but BOTH episodes of Dr Who which I never thought would happen but was a wonderful christmas present for me!

went out for Di's birthday to the Swan which was rather jolly, spent about 20 million quid on the quizzy but we won a FIVER which was sweeet!!

Headed up to Scotland on the 28th, first time I'd been in the car all the way there for ages, just like the old days...

The snow in Scotland was already a good 2ft deep when we arrived. The house was a farmhouse with a sweet log fire and 2 sofas that are so large and so deep that you fall asleep within 2 minutes of sinking into them... I cooked lots of crazy dinners including haggis with swede and cheese pie?! basically every evening was spent drinking vast quantities of wine, toasting in front of the fire and eating lots, and of course, the odd game of rude boggle! We created a snowman of Henry the VIII which looked like a sumo wrestler and was complete with back fat and a giant bit of broken pot as a codpiece... Chloe proved herself to be an utterly unscrupulous snowballer who pelted you then hid behind mum to prevent revenge...damn she was good... the snow kept falling, we went for a couple of walks, walking in snow that goes to your knees is bloody hard, but it's so beautiful and surreal that you do it anyway. On one walk it went from being sunny to being a blizzard in a matter of seconds and it was honestly like being on another planet, the whole sun was obscured by a sky filled with snow, it's utterly transfixing...talking of transfixing, I became totally obsessed with spotting animal tracks, I will post some of my photos, my most exciting find was a badger because their sweet little feet look like mini-human feet, mostly there were deer tracks and pheasants who run all over the snow looking for grub, i have some unidentified ones too... oh and i followed some foxy tracks across the garden into the woodshed where it had made a sweet little bed under an upturned bench, I refrained from looking under it in case it leapt onto my face clawing at my eyes, I did leave it some bread though, even though I know it wouldn't really want it, but beggars can't be choosers, I probably led a poor little bread-guzzling bird straight into its chops I realise as i write this...

ANYWAY, we got stranded in black ice where loads and loads of drivers had simply pulled up and stopped driving out of fear, which was reassuring to me as it is the kind of thing i would do, but provoked great shouting and swearing from my dad who skidded us round all the no-go roads at about 90mph hilariously removing his hands from the wheel and so on... coming out with his favourite lines of 'absolutely nothing could possible go wrong' etc.

when we headed back into england we realised for the first time that it had been snowing somewhere other than scotland. Arrived in Harrogate for a Betty's only to find everything shut and deep deep snow everywhere, everyone was tired and very hungry so we headed to Wakefield where even the MUmbai was closed, we tried, and failed to drive up our road so Simon and I carried our stuff to the flat and pushed dad's car out, we had intended to follow them to Cambridge but were utterly snowed in so gave up and went to bed exhausted.

On weds the 6th we borrowed a spade in order to dig the car out, living at the top of a hill and in a close absolutely NO ONE had bothered to do a fucking thing to clear the road and we noticed a few of our neighbours' cars abandoned on the ascent. We, however, had a mission which was to get to my grandma's house-in Dorset, so dig we did, Simon had taken his holiday this week in order to take me there, ad because he had none over xmas or new year, so we were bloody well going.

After the utter trauma of our road the rest of the journey was as smooth as silk, not one fucker was on the road cause of the news, and of course all the main roads were deserted and perfectly fine so we whizzed down in 5 hours flat.

Had an unbelievably brilliant time in Dorset, looking after Bernie the bendy-legged dog, we even took him for walks every day AND took it in turns to clean up after him, except once when he did so many that we ran out of bags and had to bury it in the snow... but I take that to my grave... fed him millions of treats mostly involving some that look like bacon and make your hands smell for so long that he thinks you're MAde of bacon, and some that I purchased which are a dog-version of allsorts and which I found very amusing...

watched loads of Frost and other such tv detectives, generally lounged about and laughed with grandma and had a brilliant brilliant time, went on meals on wheels on sat which was as funny as ever, especially when grandma said to one woman, 'it's cold outside' annd was told 'I do KNOW that, I have BEEN out today'-! argh!

Saw grandpa twice, arrived in time for communion at the home on Friday and joined in, they all seem to really enjoy it, although they dip the wafer in the wine as obviously the folk ain't allowed booze, so grandpa did put in a request for some wine, and Roy, the man who thinks he's in a train station made me laugh by responding 'i know, chew and swallow' in a bored voice when given the wafer! One man there used to play piano for loads of really famous bands including the beatles and they pushed his chair up to the piano where he proceeded to play! He's a really lovely waving and smiling man, I wish he lived downstairs instead of all the angry men who fight with grandpa!

Mum and dad came on Fri and Sat night, it was their 33rd anniversary, crazy.

Not much more to report, been back at Waterstone's this week, doing another fortnight there which I certainly can't turn my nose up at. Money panic is setting in again big time, the job thing is utterly utterly dire, there's NOTHING. Really am despairing. Back is also incredibly bad, having another Denervation next friday so once again, fingers crossed.