Monday, 31 January 2011
continuation of the acceptance of facts...
Marie says i look like 'Olympia' by Manet which i LOVE!!!
except without the servant.....and also not so confident in the nip, but who knows, that may change! always nice to get flowers anyway!
Friday, 28 January 2011
acceptance of the facts.
I had an ex boyfriend who used to call me by the name of a cartoon character ( a shit cartoon character i might add, one that everyone hates) much to my annoyance, then after going out with Simon for quite a short time he also sprung upon this nickname quite by chance, i have never mentioned it of course, then last night someone i work with suddenly said, haha you remind me of ..... and said the name of this bloody cartoon character!! I almost fainted. I have now had to accept that I am the human incarnation of this cartoon character. There is something that I can't see but it must be there.
It's a hard thing for a 28 year old woman to finally accept that the sum total of their life's efforts, including those made to buy nice clothes, look pretty, and further themselves intelectually as much as is possible, have results in a resemblance most closely associated with a highly unpopular cartoon dog, nephew of a scared dog, characterised by a tiny stature and a reckless desire to scrap with people and named after this particluar characteristic.
Other people I have been told I look like are:
Tina O Brian from Coronation ST I got this a LOT when I was at Leeds Uni and working at the Spread Eagle, I was quite blonde then and obviously a lot thinner!! I didn't know who she was then but i still don't see it at all.
I also got Lucy Speed off Eastenders which I really don't see, I got that 2 or 3 times and I actually was slightly annoyed about that at the time as she looked loads older than me then and had thin lips.
Angela Lansbury is who one of those 'who do you look like' internet things told me i looked like a few years ago. I was LOVING that though!!! :)
I think I look like Ponyo, at least, I think of myself as being like Ponyo. She's on the left :)
Someone once went off on one for ages about how I was EXACTLY Karen from Will and Grace, you know the total lush? who's in her mid-40's? with the squealing voice? who tells everyone what to do all the time? and lives on another planet? and is a magnet for camp gay men?? needless to say i was not impressed.
Simon also calls me Orm, from Orm and cheep. I always thought this was a reference to my scattiness but then when I saw Orm I realised the resemblence was too uncanny for it to be a coincidence...I think you will agree.....
Tuesday, 25 January 2011
tv is good for you
hey hey january is a time to turn over a new leaf and all that so me and rowey have done just that in our watching of amazing TV programmes on the new unbelievably sweet big telly. I will give yuo a run down of these delights...
my new daily watch goes by the name of 'peak season' we stumbled upon it by mistake and laughed all the way through, now however i must watch it every day. I think i have been looking for something to replace the 'Neighbours' shaped hole in my life for ages, well, since i stopped watching neighbours anyway- it's funny about neighbours, for about 15 years of my life the day was always divided by Neighbours, it was divided into before and after neighbours, you would watch it twice in the holidays or when you were sick, and the benchmark was always to get back in time for neighbours. then it just moved channel and all stopped, i mean it was getting a lot crapper but you know, it's Neighbours, it's sacred!
ANYWAY Peak Season, here's the rundown:
it's one of those 1/2 reality programmes like the Hills which I have never understood and still don't really but i think the premise is that is IS reality, but not in the sense that the meetings/ dinners etc are all staged and filmed and probably the production crew interfere quite a lot. It is in Whistler and follows people living around the ski slopes although they all only snowboard natch eh? they are such a gaggle of idiots it is actually breathtaking, it's kind of like watching a group of spoilt teenagers who look a lot older and more haggard than they probably are, plus they dress in skater stuff which looks like it's loads too big for them so they literally look like children. Their names come up every time they appear, although the boys are all named according to who they have been out with so, Dre 'amanda's ex' and so on.
Basically what happens is that; they go out and get pissed and one of the sets of ex's with have a fight, or else some girls will have a fight. Other than that they talk about their careers which are all working in shops as it is a ski resort and not the stock exchange, but even then, they really only ever ever talk about boys/ girls depending on if they are boys/ girls.that is literally IT. For example, this week, all the girls and boys went clubbing and one of the girls got pisssed and folllowed her ex hitting him, she also bit him on the arm. one girl got fired and decided to set up a promotions company, then that was it, she HAD a promotions company, just cause she said she had one...one of the boys is even uglier than the others, he stood in the gym with one of the other boys looking at his muscles going 'i wish i had a mirror like this at home, don't you love watching your muscles?' so that's the long and the short of it. get used to it. OH and one couple is Australian and the boy autralian is the biggest bastard of all and keeps wandering off and abandoning his girlfriend everywhere, she's going home in disgust. really australian's should know better, he's embarrassing his country hanging out with these Canadians.
Me and simon enjoyed an episode of 'sun, sea and a&e' late last saturday night, we were treated to a girl who had sprained both her ankles having a dance-off with someone! A girl who had woken up naked at the bottom of a flight of stairs and thought it was the past, she was kindly left on a stretcher byt the spanish dr's for about 48hrs none of the staff at the hospital could conceal their contempt for the British. Best of all was a girl who had punched herself in the throat dancing to some pumping house (or whatever the kids call it) !! she was SUCH an arse!! there was nothing wrong with her at all! she did say at one point that she went to a&e 'about 5 times a year' so there you go.
(very) Similar in theme is another programme that we caught, namely 'sun, sea, and suspicious parents' as with the previous you can probably guess the main idea here, basically the camera follows 2 people going on holiday away from home for the first time and their suspicious parents creep all over the resort following them and hiding in cupboards while they go on the pull and so on. some of the have been extremely creepy to say the least, one lad's mum was so so reluctant to let him go in any way it was terrifying, they finally appeared while her son was having a naked lapdance and the mum's stupid grinning head reared up next to the lady's tits! If that isn't going to confuse his sexual feelings for the rest of his life then nothing is!
still off the booze at the moment, although that will change this weekend in Newcastle as the fine wines and champagne will be flowing for Liv's birthday, got loads of treats lined up and i do not intend to hold back!
just got to head home and try to sew this f-ing dress that i foolishly decided to make like a prize tit.
my new daily watch goes by the name of 'peak season' we stumbled upon it by mistake and laughed all the way through, now however i must watch it every day. I think i have been looking for something to replace the 'Neighbours' shaped hole in my life for ages, well, since i stopped watching neighbours anyway- it's funny about neighbours, for about 15 years of my life the day was always divided by Neighbours, it was divided into before and after neighbours, you would watch it twice in the holidays or when you were sick, and the benchmark was always to get back in time for neighbours. then it just moved channel and all stopped, i mean it was getting a lot crapper but you know, it's Neighbours, it's sacred!
ANYWAY Peak Season, here's the rundown:
it's one of those 1/2 reality programmes like the Hills which I have never understood and still don't really but i think the premise is that is IS reality, but not in the sense that the meetings/ dinners etc are all staged and filmed and probably the production crew interfere quite a lot. It is in Whistler and follows people living around the ski slopes although they all only snowboard natch eh? they are such a gaggle of idiots it is actually breathtaking, it's kind of like watching a group of spoilt teenagers who look a lot older and more haggard than they probably are, plus they dress in skater stuff which looks like it's loads too big for them so they literally look like children. Their names come up every time they appear, although the boys are all named according to who they have been out with so, Dre 'amanda's ex' and so on.
Basically what happens is that; they go out and get pissed and one of the sets of ex's with have a fight, or else some girls will have a fight. Other than that they talk about their careers which are all working in shops as it is a ski resort and not the stock exchange, but even then, they really only ever ever talk about boys/ girls depending on if they are boys/ girls.that is literally IT. For example, this week, all the girls and boys went clubbing and one of the girls got pisssed and folllowed her ex hitting him, she also bit him on the arm. one girl got fired and decided to set up a promotions company, then that was it, she HAD a promotions company, just cause she said she had one...one of the boys is even uglier than the others, he stood in the gym with one of the other boys looking at his muscles going 'i wish i had a mirror like this at home, don't you love watching your muscles?' so that's the long and the short of it. get used to it. OH and one couple is Australian and the boy autralian is the biggest bastard of all and keeps wandering off and abandoning his girlfriend everywhere, she's going home in disgust. really australian's should know better, he's embarrassing his country hanging out with these Canadians.
Me and simon enjoyed an episode of 'sun, sea and a&e' late last saturday night, we were treated to a girl who had sprained both her ankles having a dance-off with someone! A girl who had woken up naked at the bottom of a flight of stairs and thought it was the past, she was kindly left on a stretcher byt the spanish dr's for about 48hrs none of the staff at the hospital could conceal their contempt for the British. Best of all was a girl who had punched herself in the throat dancing to some pumping house (or whatever the kids call it) !! she was SUCH an arse!! there was nothing wrong with her at all! she did say at one point that she went to a&e 'about 5 times a year' so there you go.
(very) Similar in theme is another programme that we caught, namely 'sun, sea, and suspicious parents' as with the previous you can probably guess the main idea here, basically the camera follows 2 people going on holiday away from home for the first time and their suspicious parents creep all over the resort following them and hiding in cupboards while they go on the pull and so on. some of the have been extremely creepy to say the least, one lad's mum was so so reluctant to let him go in any way it was terrifying, they finally appeared while her son was having a naked lapdance and the mum's stupid grinning head reared up next to the lady's tits! If that isn't going to confuse his sexual feelings for the rest of his life then nothing is!
still off the booze at the moment, although that will change this weekend in Newcastle as the fine wines and champagne will be flowing for Liv's birthday, got loads of treats lined up and i do not intend to hold back!
just got to head home and try to sew this f-ing dress that i foolishly decided to make like a prize tit.
Thursday, 20 January 2011
usual january SHIT-fest
I am being followed...by a cat. always in the same place. i do talk to it, so maybe it thinks it's okay, i started with things like "eeeuurgh" and "piss off cat/catface" but it has developed now into a more acccepting "so i suppose we're friends now?" . It made me realise much as i despise cats and their spittle encrusted hair and evil snake eyes, i would still look after one if it was getting picked on... although not touch it or anything. I am slightly scarred for life by memories of being around cats and how totally sick they make me and how people always always think that their cat WON'T make you ill cause they don't let it on the sofa/ they aired the room/ it hardly ever comes in here or whatever but it never makes a difference and makes you just as ill wherever it is. plus you always feel so rude, like you're overexaggerating, when you point out you can't handle it's effect on your lungs, i remember so many sleepovers at my best friends house when i was little where my lungs were just ringing like a bell, i never made it past about 11 before my dad had to get me, i also remember a sleepover in school where i looked in from outside cause i'd had to leave and the host told me off for breathing on the window! having said that, next time i stayed there the cat left our tent just as i went in which made me even more suspicious...it was def following me. at my friend kathryn's house i twice slept with my arms on the window sill and head out of the window sitting on the floor. it's really annoying actually. Rabbits are very low allergy causing pets.lovely rabbits. i LOVE my rabbits yes, yes i do. they follow you too, but you have to pretend you aren't looking. they do have a habit of running between your legs so very occassionally one of them gets scooped up on my foot and hurled down the hall by mistake. they don't seem to mind.
people on the other hand are causing me much concern at the moment.
they are depressing, have you ever noticed? and infuriating.
take this incident on the train the day before yesterday, the train is a daily source of fury as it's like being let into a museum of people displaying openly their natural selfishness and insularity. Someone texted the metro yesterday saying 'no i won't give you my seat, i paid for it, you're pregnant not ill.' and that was a WOMAN!
god i pray she doesn't have children. or any friends.
anyway so i was on the train after work, trying to read but distracted by a woman who was talking on her phone " yeah i'm on my way to Australia NOW, no i gave my key to the neighbour, god i have really screwed everything up, no well all i care about is the radio, so long as that's safe, i have fucked it all up, i have ruined everything, well they have to let me in when i get to brisbane, well i don't know what immigration will do but i am going now" on and so on...
i couldn't see her but i felt sorry for her, i hate it when people think they have ruined their life and i wanted to say 'don't worry!'
a couple of minutes later she started calling to the man across the way "excuse me, can you help me? help me please!"
-this man incidentally had also been distracting me as he had the singular most chesty cough i had ever heard in my life, he was talking also an dhis voice was so husky he sounded like he was literally about to die of emphysema, it was hurting my lungs to hear him
he heard her pleas, 'yes, what is it?' " excuse meee, i have dropped my i pod, i can't see it anywhere, i've looked everywhere"
-i must interject that she HADN'T looked everywhere, she hadn't moved at all.
"oh right, um, did you look in your bag?' he said pointing to her bag on the floor
"yeees, yes" she said impatiently "can you help me"
the rasping man arose, he was in his 60's i'd say and at this point i presumed that to ask HIM she must be very elderly and/or disabled in some way, why else would you ask this clearly breathless grey haired man to do such a thing? He got slowly onto his knees and ran his hands around on the dirty train floor, the woman still didn't move" i can't see it!" this went on for a few minutes till he hauled himself up, apologised profusely and sat back down.
SUDDENLY the woman SPRANG to her able-feet, she was about 45 at the most, wearing hiking boots, perfectly fit and healthy! I shook my head in total astonishment, 2 seconds later she turned to him, having bent over and looked about "it was in my bag!hahaha!" she laughed. "oh right, ok" said the man, probably 2 years closer to death.
I felt like i needed to get up and talk to them both: now look, what just happened there?why are you behaving like this? and you, what's wrong with you, she's younger than you, tell her off! ask her if she's mad? at least say 'i told you it was in your bag you LAZY ABLE-BODIED MADWOMAN! i presumed you had a disability i couldn't see! why were you saying help help like someone out at sea?! And while we're at it, what's going on with this Australia thing? why do you need to just keep a radio? what's so good about it? you've got an i pod even, that's better already?! was this a trick? did you rob him while he looked? it can be the only explanation!! i HATEEEEE YOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!
but i didn't of course. i just added it to my general annoyance black cloud and turned my attention back to the incredibly annoying women at my table talking about vegetarianism and carried on arguing with them in my head.
people on the other hand are causing me much concern at the moment.
they are depressing, have you ever noticed? and infuriating.
take this incident on the train the day before yesterday, the train is a daily source of fury as it's like being let into a museum of people displaying openly their natural selfishness and insularity. Someone texted the metro yesterday saying 'no i won't give you my seat, i paid for it, you're pregnant not ill.' and that was a WOMAN!
god i pray she doesn't have children. or any friends.
anyway so i was on the train after work, trying to read but distracted by a woman who was talking on her phone " yeah i'm on my way to Australia NOW, no i gave my key to the neighbour, god i have really screwed everything up, no well all i care about is the radio, so long as that's safe, i have fucked it all up, i have ruined everything, well they have to let me in when i get to brisbane, well i don't know what immigration will do but i am going now" on and so on...
i couldn't see her but i felt sorry for her, i hate it when people think they have ruined their life and i wanted to say 'don't worry!'
a couple of minutes later she started calling to the man across the way "excuse me, can you help me? help me please!"
-this man incidentally had also been distracting me as he had the singular most chesty cough i had ever heard in my life, he was talking also an dhis voice was so husky he sounded like he was literally about to die of emphysema, it was hurting my lungs to hear him
he heard her pleas, 'yes, what is it?' " excuse meee, i have dropped my i pod, i can't see it anywhere, i've looked everywhere"
-i must interject that she HADN'T looked everywhere, she hadn't moved at all.
"oh right, um, did you look in your bag?' he said pointing to her bag on the floor
"yeees, yes" she said impatiently "can you help me"
the rasping man arose, he was in his 60's i'd say and at this point i presumed that to ask HIM she must be very elderly and/or disabled in some way, why else would you ask this clearly breathless grey haired man to do such a thing? He got slowly onto his knees and ran his hands around on the dirty train floor, the woman still didn't move" i can't see it!" this went on for a few minutes till he hauled himself up, apologised profusely and sat back down.
SUDDENLY the woman SPRANG to her able-feet, she was about 45 at the most, wearing hiking boots, perfectly fit and healthy! I shook my head in total astonishment, 2 seconds later she turned to him, having bent over and looked about "it was in my bag!hahaha!" she laughed. "oh right, ok" said the man, probably 2 years closer to death.
I felt like i needed to get up and talk to them both: now look, what just happened there?why are you behaving like this? and you, what's wrong with you, she's younger than you, tell her off! ask her if she's mad? at least say 'i told you it was in your bag you LAZY ABLE-BODIED MADWOMAN! i presumed you had a disability i couldn't see! why were you saying help help like someone out at sea?! And while we're at it, what's going on with this Australia thing? why do you need to just keep a radio? what's so good about it? you've got an i pod even, that's better already?! was this a trick? did you rob him while he looked? it can be the only explanation!! i HATEEEEE YOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!
but i didn't of course. i just added it to my general annoyance black cloud and turned my attention back to the incredibly annoying women at my table talking about vegetarianism and carried on arguing with them in my head.
Friday, 14 January 2011
2011
2011 sounds like the future...
I still can't get over it not being the 90's...
made some new year's resolutions then decided that was a bad idea as i am just setting myself up for a fall if i do that. decided to get fit and healthy mostly, as i still miss my bike so desperately, Simon bought me 'Just Dance' for Christmas which has become my idea of a get-fit routine. I am also desperate to start swimming but can't do that till I get paid, this month's been expensive!
Went to Portmeirion which was a really really amazing way to start the year actually, although it was a glimpse into a lifestyle that I will never have, and some people have all the time, and I tell you, I could get u-u-hu-hoooseed to it! 3 course dinners, different wine with each course, aperitif of kir royale, the kind of food you eat slowly, cause you want to taste it carefully and make it last, not like the food you have at home that you insert into the back of your throat quickly cause you're hungry and you've tasted it a million times before (you bloody cooked it) NOT cooking, that's sweet in itself... I am desperate to go back already, if i had a full-time wage i would go twice or 3 times a year... it is the perfect relax!
celebrated my return to the normal world by getting very pissed. have realised quite bluntly that i mustn't drink that much on my medication...not sensible as it is a nerve-slowing pill so shit loads of alcohol goes pretty badly with it...
Back in wakey now, moved back into the studio which is SWEET, but fricking weird and the walls are all blank...doing some peripheral life-searching soul searching what shall i do where is my life going how can i make it so i just have some money for once! which keeps slipping forward and making me go 'ooohhh gooooooddddd!!!!!heeellppppp!!' but i feel lots better today for the realisation that things won't just change and also that really i have it ok, so i am perpetually poor and i can't buy anything or do anything or go anywhere, but on the bright side, i am buying sewing patterns off ebay for 99p and i am going to make my own clothes, and also the longer life goes on this poorly the more i am not particularly interested in a lot of material stuff. it's just holidays that are the hard bit to live without...
anyway. i am off, actually got loads to say about exciting stuff but it'll have to wait as i am off on a jaunt.
SImon bought a massive new telly and blu ray so we've been watching lots of films etc. Attenborough in flatscreen is AMAZING!!!! :) that's what makes me happy. when you despair of life watch an attenborough. fact. i've been there. ps although don't watch the bit where this hideous creature called a yaya or something uses his freakishly long finger to scrape insects out of a tree and eat them. it's rank.
I still can't get over it not being the 90's...
made some new year's resolutions then decided that was a bad idea as i am just setting myself up for a fall if i do that. decided to get fit and healthy mostly, as i still miss my bike so desperately, Simon bought me 'Just Dance' for Christmas which has become my idea of a get-fit routine. I am also desperate to start swimming but can't do that till I get paid, this month's been expensive!
Went to Portmeirion which was a really really amazing way to start the year actually, although it was a glimpse into a lifestyle that I will never have, and some people have all the time, and I tell you, I could get u-u-hu-hoooseed to it! 3 course dinners, different wine with each course, aperitif of kir royale, the kind of food you eat slowly, cause you want to taste it carefully and make it last, not like the food you have at home that you insert into the back of your throat quickly cause you're hungry and you've tasted it a million times before (you bloody cooked it) NOT cooking, that's sweet in itself... I am desperate to go back already, if i had a full-time wage i would go twice or 3 times a year... it is the perfect relax!
celebrated my return to the normal world by getting very pissed. have realised quite bluntly that i mustn't drink that much on my medication...not sensible as it is a nerve-slowing pill so shit loads of alcohol goes pretty badly with it...
Back in wakey now, moved back into the studio which is SWEET, but fricking weird and the walls are all blank...doing some peripheral life-searching soul searching what shall i do where is my life going how can i make it so i just have some money for once! which keeps slipping forward and making me go 'ooohhh gooooooddddd!!!!!heeellppppp!!' but i feel lots better today for the realisation that things won't just change and also that really i have it ok, so i am perpetually poor and i can't buy anything or do anything or go anywhere, but on the bright side, i am buying sewing patterns off ebay for 99p and i am going to make my own clothes, and also the longer life goes on this poorly the more i am not particularly interested in a lot of material stuff. it's just holidays that are the hard bit to live without...
anyway. i am off, actually got loads to say about exciting stuff but it'll have to wait as i am off on a jaunt.
SImon bought a massive new telly and blu ray so we've been watching lots of films etc. Attenborough in flatscreen is AMAZING!!!! :) that's what makes me happy. when you despair of life watch an attenborough. fact. i've been there. ps although don't watch the bit where this hideous creature called a yaya or something uses his freakishly long finger to scrape insects out of a tree and eat them. it's rank.
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