usual january SHIT-fest

I am being followed...by a cat. always in the same place. i do talk to it, so maybe it thinks it's okay, i started with things like "eeeuurgh" and "piss off cat/catface" but it has developed now into a more acccepting "so i suppose we're friends now?" . It made me realise much as i despise cats and their spittle encrusted hair and evil snake eyes, i would still look after one if it was getting picked on... although not touch it or anything. I am slightly scarred for life by memories of being around cats and how totally sick they make me and how people always always think that their cat WON'T make you ill cause they don't let it on the sofa/ they aired the room/ it hardly ever comes in here or whatever but it never makes a difference and makes you just as ill wherever it is. plus you always feel so rude, like you're overexaggerating, when you point out you can't handle it's effect on your lungs, i remember so many sleepovers at my best friends house when i was little where my lungs were just ringing like a bell, i never made it past about 11 before my dad had to get me, i also remember a sleepover in school where i looked in from outside cause i'd had to leave and the host told me off for breathing on the window!  having said that, next time i stayed there the cat left our tent just as i went in which made me even more suspicious...it was def following me. at my friend kathryn's house i twice slept with my arms on the window sill and head out of the window sitting on the floor. it's really annoying actually. Rabbits are very low allergy causing pets.lovely rabbits. i LOVE my rabbits yes, yes i do. they follow you too, but you have to pretend you aren't looking. they do have a habit of running between your legs so very occassionally one of them gets scooped up on my foot and hurled down the hall by mistake. they don't seem to mind.

people on the other hand are causing me much concern at the moment.
they are depressing, have you ever noticed? and infuriating.

take this incident on the train the day before yesterday, the train is a  daily source of fury as it's like being let into a museum of people displaying openly their natural selfishness and insularity. Someone texted the metro yesterday saying 'no i won't give you my seat, i paid for it, you're pregnant not ill.' and that was a WOMAN!
god i pray she doesn't have children. or any friends.
anyway so i was on the train after work, trying to read but distracted by a woman who was talking on her phone " yeah i'm on my way to Australia NOW, no i gave my key to the neighbour, god i have really screwed everything up, no well all i care about is the radio, so long as that's safe, i have fucked it all up, i have ruined everything, well they have to let me in when i get to brisbane, well i don't know what immigration will do but i am going now" on and so on...
 i couldn't see her but i felt sorry for her, i hate it when people think they have ruined their life and i wanted to say 'don't worry!'
a couple of minutes later she started calling to the man across the way "excuse me, can you help me? help me please!"
-this man incidentally had also been distracting me as he had the singular most chesty cough i had ever heard in my life, he was talking also an dhis voice was so husky he sounded like he was literally about to die of emphysema, it was hurting my lungs to hear him
 he heard her pleas, 'yes, what is it?' " excuse meee, i have dropped my i pod, i can't see it anywhere, i've looked everywhere"
-i must interject that she HADN'T looked everywhere, she hadn't moved at all.
"oh right, um, did you look in your bag?' he said pointing to her bag on the floor
"yeees, yes" she said impatiently "can you help me"
the rasping man arose, he was in his 60's i'd say and at this point i presumed that to ask HIM she must be very elderly and/or disabled in some way, why else would you ask this clearly breathless grey haired man to do such a thing? He got slowly onto his knees and ran his hands around on the dirty train floor, the woman still didn't move" i can't see it!" this went on for a few minutes till he hauled himself up, apologised profusely and sat back down.
SUDDENLY the woman SPRANG to her able-feet, she was about 45 at the most, wearing hiking boots, perfectly fit and healthy! I shook my head in total astonishment, 2 seconds later she turned to him, having bent over and looked about "it was in my bag!hahaha!" she laughed. "oh right, ok" said the man, probably 2 years closer to death.

I felt like i needed to get up and talk to them both: now look, what just happened there?why are you behaving like this? and you, what's wrong with you, she's younger than you, tell her off! ask her if she's mad? at least say 'i told you it was in your bag you LAZY ABLE-BODIED MADWOMAN! i presumed you had a disability i couldn't see! why were you saying help help like someone out at sea?! And while we're at it, what's going on with this Australia thing? why do you need to just keep a radio? what's so good about it? you've got an i pod even, that's better already?! was this a trick? did you rob him while he looked? it can be the only explanation!! i HATEEEEE YOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!

but i didn't of course. i just added it to my general annoyance black cloud and turned my attention back to the incredibly annoying women at my table talking about vegetarianism and carried on arguing with them in my head.