the world is SO wrong.

This was on the floor looking up at me on the train to Wakey on Friday. Maybe it annoyed me more than usual due to my exhausted state and shitty day dealing with twats. no, probably not.

It reads:

'Top Ten Places to Work for Straight Men'

1. Hooters

2. Spearmint Rhino

3. Stella Artois

4. Nintendo

5. Zoo Magazine

6. Walkers Crisps

7. Virgin Atlantic

8. Tourism Queensland

...then it just stops (not sure if a person who can't count to ten, no matter how straight they are, would get a job at all).



It claims to rank 'workplaces where red-blooded, beer swilling, rootin' tootin', girl-loving guys want to work'.

Upon further inspection I discovered that this was in a trade magazine, all about Business Law.

This particular article was a reaction against a previous publication mentioned in a previous issue, of the top 100 places for gay people to be employed, it states the criteria for that survey as having been, 'implementation of effective equality policies' and 'practical demonstration of good practice in recruitment and mentoring', so slightly different from the things that they seem to have taken into account for their invented beer swilling, red-blooded equivalent.

So according to this survey, the MAIN, IDEAL, PERFECT job for straight men (not just any old straight men remember, there are criteria, you have to be PROPER) is working in Hooters.
well, we don't have hooters in the uk, there is a place in manchester called Teasers, I know cause i went in there on lightning's birthday. it was depressing, everyone in there was depressed. So if a man could make it to America, to work in Hooters, then there they would be eligible for employment either, I presume, on the door, behind the bar, or in the kitchen. Surely the readers of Business Magazine or whatever this is, could achieve this? I mean, if they truly are the red-blooded men they claim to be, who's main goal in life is to be around women in tight t-shirts, then all they need to do is get a bar job, it's not that hard. maybe they aren't man enough to follow their NUMBER ONE dream?
Spearmint Rhino, that's in the Uk, just go and get a job there? it's not exactly an impossible dream?serving lager, watching the men coming in, and going out, every, single, day. Going whhheeeeyy at the ladies, but obviously, not going near them, doing that ALL THE TIME, that is the best job in the world.
as for nintendo and stella, presumably, like the tit-related jobs, the red-blooded men presume that they would be allowed to simply look at tits/play computergames/drink beer, as a job.
Or is it merely enough to say 'i work at spearmint rhino' so all men you meet can go 'fucking hell! whheeyy you lucky bastard!' while you gaze past them, eyes dead, incapable of even looking women in the eye now you know what men are really, truly like. thinking of the mother that raised you, wishing you'd never read the top ten jobs list for red-blooded, beer swilling rootin' tootin' men and HAD to get one to prove that you were a man, drinking yourself to death, beer swilling until you can swill no more...
As for the virgin atlantic one, there is nothing even to say. it means nothing. even more than the others did, it means absolutely nothing. this was in a proper magazine, that people read? they printed it.

So anyway. Other news. I bought a new pair of headphones finally, and while trying to remove the space age fucking packaging, managed to cut both of the headphones clean off with some scissors.
off to a Holocaust Memorial service now, as it is Holocaust memorial day, swing by, look at the display I made, no one else has!