smiling like an axolotl.

sorry, I haven't kept up the old blogging at all this week... i had an unprovoked bout of spewing last night...didn't seem fair.

so what's up?

Going to see my future husband Mark Steel tonight, then off to Sheringham tomorrow morning for a night in a Youth Hostel and hopefully some drawing...

Yesterday was Shakespeare's birth and death day, even though it also was probably neither. I fall down on the side of the argument that he definitely did write everthing attributed to him, and people who profess otherwise are boarding school snobs who refuse to believe that a grammar school boy could have been clever and driven, when in fact, he was the most likely person to have been, having met a wide variety of people and with an intimate kowledge of theatre, a writer from the nobility would have had no such insight.

It was also St. George's day, i was hassled to put up a display about him on the grounds that i'd done one for Shakespeare(it is a library, Shakespeare is apparently quite a significant literary figure?) and put up a scrap of paper emphsising not only the fact that he was Turkish, but also that he's the patron saint of about 20 countries, lots of cities, and syphillis, as if anyone cares anyway, although there does seem to be a dribble of attempting to revive a St George's day thing...unsuccessfully, the attitude is so defensive, there are always pissed up people on the news going 'the irish get st patrick's why can't we celebrate too?' The simple fact is, you can do what you like doesn't mean that anyone wants to join in! You can't force people to put on a georges cross foam hat and get wasted during the day if they really don't give a shit.

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel, Dr Johnson was definitely right on that one. It causes nothing but grief and is really completely pointless. In the end, when you are born English you have not achieved anything, the circumstance of your birth is completely out of your control, so why congratulate yourself on it?I understand that you want to make your country a better place to live in and to improve on the things about it that are good. You can be glad that you live somewhere, sometimes even proud of it, but patriotism is not about that, it's competitive and harmful, and whether people want to accept it or not, it's an excellent excuse to be racist, that's why so many racists wear the georges cross, it's not just a coincidence, and that's why the sight of it makes me, and most people that I know, uneasy. Once you are simply sitting about congratulating youself on the fact that you are english/scottish/irish, the country would surely come to a standstill? There must be no room for improvement? I have had nights and nights of torturous arguments where I was insulted and berated by a little crew of Scots at a pub I used to go to, the whole thing was so pathetic and frustrating, and most of all it was embarrasingly self-pitying, grown people so obssessed and stuck in this unquestioning cycle of patriotism that creates a total lack of progression, or development, furiously angry about nothing, it was a very confusing thing for me, trying to convey that i didn't really care about any of it, and being waved off as being just a fucking english person, like that was a massive indicator of my entire character. All this and the entire British Isles pays for the Scottish to have free University, subsidised medicine and soon free prescriptions, I wish I was bloody Scottish! Sweet deal!

enough of my borderline racism.

so the big NOOs is that my notice has been handed forth and i am off in 6 weeks. Off to a studio in Wakefield to see if I can actually be an Illustrator (not liiikeelly!) put my moolah where my fat mouth is.

If anything, work is actually more unbearable when you have a leaving date, there's no incentive to make it bearable, I'm constantly on the verge of shouting FUCK YOUUUU or stabbing someone with a pen or something and then being like 'IiiiiiiIIIII QQQQqqquuuiiiTT'

or 'what you gonna do, fire me? HAHAHAHAAA' or just going mad and laughing like a maniac.

Can't wait to watch 'Who Killed the Honeybee?' later on Iplayer!

Already watched the apprentice twice this week as it was so unbelievable that I had to show mum!...that Durham WANKER absolutely has to go!!it was probably the most agonising hour of telly I've ever watched! The American was rubbish though...plus we have to put our trust in S'rallen, even though the winner he chose last year was a dud. I've got my money on the woman with black hair and glassy eyes and the tall one, I think he's called James? getting through to the end...I could be srallen's apprentice, this batch are all brain dead. You can't make it in business without creativity, my dad has always told me, and i can see that clearly in this series, they have no imaginations...

man, this blog's all over the place. I'll come back proper next week, promise.

here's a picture of an axolotl to cheer you up:

look at this little fellow!

they can live for 15 years you know? and regenerate lost body parts! and they can morph into a salamander if you gradually reduce the water in their habitat, they adapt to living on land instead and morph into an entirly different species! WTF!!! i hear you say...i know...it's amazing.

Maybe we should all try to be a bit more like an axolotl yeah? by morphing to adapt to our environment, and then the world would be a better place, yeah? peace.