little to report

hey hey, writing to you all from cambridge, originator of the blog. at this point i haven't left the house since friday, and then i only saw the inside of the car and crazy hospital, so i am going slightly mental and getting my usual guilt waves and lazy bastard disease.

had my last day at waterstones on thurs (again) i am actually sad to leave this time, it's much better there now christmas is over and i reckon i was pretty good at it too, it suited me well... the desperate job fear was delayed as i whizzed down to the bridge for my denervation on friday. sat in the frenchgate centre in donny waiting the 2 hours until my cheap train, watching all the terrifying children buy kfc's then throw them at each other and repeatedly run backwards up the escalators screaming, punching bins and stuff. a security man came and removed the crew that were behind me and i kind of got lumped in with them and ushered out, even though i was quietly eating some chocolate and reading a historical account of urban london, maybe he could see it in my eyes, i'm a rebel, i'm a maverick.

got back to cams about 9:30pm, came home and had a late dinner with the crew, chloe told us all about the TV show she was filming 2 weeks ago with John Burton-Race (yes, you heard me right, chloe is on a cooking show!) as is utterly typical of the harries genes it seems she maintained dignity until the last minute when she gave someone double up-yours on camera. I'm so proud!

went to Ely on Friday, things were very busy up the hosp, busiest one ever, there was a lot of sitting in a chair staring, the irony being that if you suffer from a chronic pain normally nothing is worse than sitting still for ages. me and other women stared each other out, trying to guess who'd be the lucky one to go first...by 2:30 i'd been there 2 hours and at this point a nurse came in and whispered indiscreetly that they'd all just gone to lunch. I think i went in about 330 in the end? maybe later? anyway, it was very painful for some reason and i had to double up on the sedation...basically they stick a magnetic pad to your thigh to earth you and then stick four hollow needles in your back which they pass an electrically charged wire into, you have to tell them when you feel it touch your nerves, but make sure you can't feel it in your legs because then they may switch your leg nerves off! then they zap the nerves and kill them.

came home feeling pretty agonizing. chilled with chlodj and even had a...pizza hut! got the whole family into the wonders of popstar to operastar (BRILL!)
saturday i was a bit depressed which is the usual after-effect of lots of painkillers...watched little women which was somewhat foolhardy and caused lots of hysterical crying...of course once total wipeout and hole in the wall and take me out (BEST programme on telly ever) began things took a sharp turn for the better. If you haven't watched take me out (why not?) you are an arse, basically, there's 50(?) women who have lights that they can turn on or off, a series of ridiculous men are paraded in front of them and if they fancy them they keep their lights on, ultimately though the men choose who they want, so it isn;t empowering or anything, but it is BRILL!!!

what else... not much really, just taking lots of painkillers, my heart keeps slowing down but i'll choose to ignore that...gonna apply for some jobs, desperately trying to relax and look after my back but finding it incredibly difficult!!got many urges to hoover and stuff, i just tidied the dvds which has set me back about 2 days! it's impossible to relax when you're unemployed anyway, the guilt runs all the way into your bone marrow...