money is whirring round my mind. I still haven't got any, so obviously when my overdraft went £2 over the usual £60 fine has come falling into my lap again, only i can't pay that, so when they take it i guess i'll get another one and another and so on. sometimes i think for a second that having no money is liberating, but it isn't. it's shit. I need a carrot and some celery tomorrow, but i can't get them cause i haven't got any money. the thing that it does tend to do, i'm finding, is make you into a recluse. you can't meet anyone for coffee or anything, and it is a bit embarrassing, and also you don't go out cause you know you can't be exposed to nice things that you want but can't buy.
the £15 national express voucher is going on a train ticket tomorrow, so that has come in useful. Going back to cambridge on tuesday to see my mum.Up here in wakey it is possible to slightly remove myself from the horrible stuff happening at home, not to mention the fact that the whole house makes me sad now, and dad is living in my room so that feels really weird too, i think i'll sleep downstairs...he won't be there though, if mum's at home then he's a grandma's. That's another weird thing too.
If i had some money i'd do kickboxing. I'm alive with anger and frustration all the time. anyway, i better go to bed cause i don't want to keep simon up which i'm sure i am. just had to vent.
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