Friday, 13 March 2009

tears of a clown.

hoo heee hahahahaaa hoo haa, it's red nose day today, ha ha ha hee, that's me just laughing there from the crazy things people at work are doing, the secretary has got really GIANT sunglasses on, hee hee hoo, someone was wearing a red afro wig! hee hee ha haaaa, oooh my sides, what's this now? someone dressed as a clown? ha haaaaa HAhaha!



why does this school manage to ruin everything?

They're hardly even bothering to collect money, just shitting themselves about the entire concept of red nose day. I struggled to find a recepticle to put my carefully saved £6 (i know, I'm very kind) in, and when i did it was a plastic pot with a screw lid, and frankly I have very little confidence of it making it to the actual charity. I feel like asking for it back, I want to see an official recepticle...I don't trust these bastards.

yes, i know, red nose day is meant to be fun and crazy, and people wear their pyjamas to work and spray their hair red, it raises a hell of a lot of money, so i am not being cynical about that, my only cynicism relates to this school, and that is cause i know them to be the single least charitable bunch of c*^ts in the history of the universe. It is the school as a business that I am referring to, not the children, the children are all rich and spend a million pounds a day on clothes and other crap, so yes, you'd imagine that we'd raise an unusually massive sum, but come on, teenagers are selfish, they all are.

The staff are the ones giving me the creeps today. I've never seen such a display of sheer pant-wetting excitement at the prospect of wearing a some red face-paint on the end of your nose! The person that triggered my suspicions was the man known as the 'activities co-ordinator' we'll call him Ronan for the sake of data protection...Ronan has been getting the hairy eyeball off me for a while now, I don't trust him oooooonnee bit... I see him two or three times a day, he is always in the canteen and he's always with young girls, I often mistake him for a student, and I have twice heard him lean in to, and whisper angry retorts to, my friend who serves coffee in the canteen... I think he might be thick as well... he's using the opportunity of red nose day no doubt, to set up a communal unisex changing area and help the young ladies get changed.... I gave him my money for his suspect pot earlier to which he said 'oh, you must be rich' hardly the point is it? on red nose day? and hardly likely considering i work here.

So anyway, that's the hilarity of my day, I am wearing my red nose day t shirt with morcambe and wise on, like a good giRL.

me and marie spent much of the morning complaining to the Press Complaints Commission about an article in the fucking Daily Mail( i know, you're shocked), which still arrives here every day and we still refuse to put it out every day, today there was a full page of "jokes" about the french, really really offensive ones about the war, and an amazingly racist headline. Of course, on the website there were loads of comments saying " you've brightened up my day with these racist jokes" and " Brilliant jokes, or is it even illegal for us Brits to laugh now?!" that one is signed 'traditional British housewife'. When we phoned they said they'd already received lots of complaints about it, so at least that was heartening.

Anyway, i shall finish with a joke, as it's ha ha hee red nose day hoo haa! This comes courtesy of Chloe Harries:



How do you tittilate an Ocelot?







Oscillate its tits a lot!




Thank you, thank you very much, you've been a wonderful audience, i love you all, i'll be here, for more laughs, same time next week...

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