monday=trud day

dad's b day today, i bought him some corduroy slippers! i'm so imaginative!!
Hanging the exhibition took a long time on sunday, it literally gave me a heart-attack! my heart started palpatating when i got home for ages, it's such a strange sensation, you can't walk or stand up cause it hurts so much and you feel like you're going to faint, and your ribs absolutely kill, you can see your jugular pumping in your neck... it's horrid, i'm sure it's stress related, i felt ill all weekend, i'm not cut out for doing things like this i don't think, you know, life and all that old crap.
On the plus side, I managed to make an indian pudding of carrot halva, which was delicious, so I was pretty pleased with myself.
I have come to the conclusion that I am definitely a person of too-low standards to be an exhibiting artist. I just do not have the patience to do things properly, it's that simple. Easy and shit, or slightly harder and good, I always take the easy option. Then cause it's shit I go round and round doing it again and shitting it up more, so it turns into the really hard and shit option. it's awful when you have a characteristic that you really don't like like, get so anoyed with myself and how ridiculously careless I am with things like this. I'll put a picture I've done down in a pool of water, or put it on the floor then tread on it, or cut it free-hand without a ruler cause I can't be bothered to go upstairs and get one, ruining it every time, it's truly pathetic! It's like revising at school or uni, I just never, ever, ever did it, and it annoyed me, but I just couldn't bring myself to, or to write an essay at uni before the night before it was due in, the endless routine that I would end up in of all nighters churning out crap. I wonder where it comes from, this characteristic, it's not in line with some of my other, more anal traits, but it's very deeply ingrained in me.
Anyway enough navel gazing.
We had the first fight here since I've worked here, and it happened just outside the library, a Russian student and a Chinese student, both of whom have absolutely masses of attitude and always come in and swing their feet up onto the table, glaring round the room like rich-kid rebels without a cause, it's very funny now I'm older to see these tiny, skinny 16 year olds who walk like gangsters and shake hands every time they run into each other like mafia members, they are hilarious. The Chinese boy in question wears a billowing shirt undone to his waist with his unbelievably skinny chest out every day, like a pirate, the Russian boy I have my eye on cause I think he bullies some of the younger ones, and I had a run-in with him cause he wanted to borrow an 18 dvd (see, my life is literally wild.) SO anyway, they had a fight, JUST outside the library, maybe the tension of the library got to them? I'd happily fight just about anyone outside the library by about 10 o' clock each morning. Although obviously some people are higher on my shit-list than others.
Anyway. I'm going to go soon cause it's NIGHT TIME and I'm still here. Only 6 more months of my contract left and I am OFF. Like a puff of smoke, Wakey, get ready, I'm small, I'm southern, I'm apologetic to everyone who works in a shop, and I'm coming. woop!