my crazy life!

the boy on todays JK has sculpted his hair into a crown...he has a long, thin neck and big boggly eyes.
I'm halfway through my closer/heat two-pack, i have discovered the following:
* angelina jolie has definitely had a nose job but no one has noticed
* victoria posh face is much uglier naturally than you ever feared (i learned this from 90's photos of her in heat)
*britney's not crazy she's "lost" (she's not she's crazy)
*Jedward have done a single with Vanilla Ice, which is so embarrasing I want to be sick
* Lindsay Lohan is donating money from the sale of some leggings she's designed to Haiti (literally UNBELIEVABLE.)
*Dec from Ant and dec has hair like bran flakes crumbs, ie. balding, (i had a dream about him last night that I accidentally broke his halogen oven in the middle of us flirting so it came to an abrupt end but i fixed it by realising it was blocked with powdery meringue).
*Some girl from a programme called 'The Hills' has had 10 plastic surgery procedures in a day,
*Jodie Marsh's tattoes are amazing: it says 'My Crazy Life' then has things around it that I suppose represent her 'crazy' life, I can make out lipstick, make-up brush, hammer and nails (?!whaaa), furry handcuffs, coathanger (mmm, that's a nice tattoo to have), CLOTHES PEG! (SHIT!), a bottle that says 'vodka' but looks like a wine bottle, a screw(haha), high heel with pom-pom, something which looks exactly like a cake slice, high heel with straps, diamond, skull head with angry eyes and top hat, dollar sign (?), strawberry, club sign, buddy holly (poor man), an OK! magazine sign that says 'NOT OK!' with a fake front cover saying 'only sane person exclusive' with a girls head that I presume is her but isn't (cringe) and tiny cactus. there's loads more but i can't make it out.
*Campaign against tanning on pages 64-68
*How to do tanning on page 73
nothing else of interest in heat

in closer however!
* Jordan says she loves alex more than she ever loved pete, they deserve each other they are both thick so why does anyone give a shit??!! Peter Andre is also really thick by the way.
*Posh has to have bunion surgery which leaves you in a wheelchair for 6 weeks and means you can never wear heels again. I remember the only occassion i ever saw someone with bunions hammer toes, it was at the Frank Lee swimming pool and was totally shocking! I was going to insert a picture here but it bought sick up my throat just looking at pictures.
*Gail Porter has a new boyfriend, I saw her in Wakey the other week.
* I lost 18 stone then my husband ran off with my mum.

Oh god, Lorraine from the Apprentice is in Closer diets, I wondered whose face that was looking at me cripes!!

i'm also watching This Morning, the inundation of crap is clogging my cells...why am i in bed? my back KILLS. This man called Kelvin McKenzie is a fucking TWAT i hate him!!!

i've got such an annoying syndrome at the moment where i keep forgetting what it was i was thinking about, it's driving me mental it makes you want to scratch your brains out! what causes this??!! how can i stop it??

jedward are talking now, their hair is much taller than before and really does look stupid. they are very stupid incase you were wondering. one of them is clearly the nominated talker, the other just chipped in and was silenced.
anyway, i am rambling. i'm off for a bath to try and sort out my back so i can head to the studio.

whatever you do by the way NEVER type 'lamb with human face' into google images. you WILL regret it. I know i do... :(